Closure

I wasn't able to go to work last night. Bo, Maya and Kwinny bought lunch for us. They slept early than usual. I'm having a hard time sleeping because of the long hours of sleep last night.

I contemplated and then, I found myself incomplete. I miss BOSS. So, i grabbed my cellphone and sent a message to Eden and Scott saying how i wanted to end the gap between us. Afterall, it's been 3 months. I never expected a response from them. There were many occasions that I missed out. Maybe, i was really hurt.But, this message really paid it all. It touched my heart completely. "From the very start you've been special to our whole family... Nothing has changed. We still feel the same way for you. Let's not talk about the past. We have the rest of our lifes to enjoy our friendship." 

So, maybe i overeacted before.. I should've consulted either one of them if it was true. Yet, i didn't.. I detached myself and tried to hard to stay away from them... It was never an easy decision. They were my closest friends. I should've not judged them. Me and my prejudices. At least now, it's over...

Confessions

Things happen when you least expect it... I 'm shocked when i opened my friendster. 1 Friend Request! A request from "bruce wayne." (It's not his real name though.) But, i know who he is. How could i ever forget that guy? It's almost a year now when i met him. He's one of my mentees in my previous company. The friendship started when i broke up with ex on October of 2003. He'd always go to my post and asked for some tips for effective upselling. And the rest is history.

Though, there are questions that are uncertain:

Did it become "us?"

I've never conclude. Yet, he'd always say: "That's not the kindest way to treat your boyfriend!" But, it was never what it seemed.

Will we ever be friends? Only time will heal the wounds of betrayal. I found it easy to forgive. But, memories of past would always remain. Time will tell if i can forget.

Did i love him? Oh well, I thought so. Loving him used to be my greatest fear. And I was right, that hurts. I learned how to let go... he thought me what love really is. Perhaps, now i know... it was never him.

We went to Landmark to buy toiletries. I'm with Magne, Maya, Kwinny, Bo and Sarah. We had our lunch over KFC. Magne and I met Aian in Starbucks. We spent so much time together discussing our plans for QA department. At around 3pm, Aian left to meet up with Jonex. They were with Jen (she looks like laraFabrigas). We watched Ocean's 12. I love Brad Pitt.

unfinished business

I'm sick and tired finding the codes so i can add my playlist here in my blog. Finally, i gave up. I'll just let it go. I don't care anymore if i can't attach the codes in my blog. Nothing to lose! The hell i care! This is just a blog! Does it matter? My productivity suffered. (as if) I still have the most number of scans. The truth of the matter is i'm exceeding the goal. hehehehe. I'm having difficulties pulling out the agents for coaching. Resource center won't allow me to pull out anybody because of the call volume. So, i stayed in the office, waited for the agents to finish their calls and gave the feedback after their shift.

Requiem

I just watched Double Jeopardy by Ashley Judd. It made me cry how she longed for her son while she was in prison for 6 years. It made me even feel ill how the movie ended.

I couldn't help but to cry my heart out. I miss my baby Wacks. If only he's still here... i will never let him go. Fate brought me lots of pains for 3 years. Loneliness binds the soul... Deterioration of undying laughters... Maybe, i'm nothing compared to what i was then. Maybe, i'm useless compared to what i have dreamed before... Sometimes, you just don't know if luck is playing on you.

Almost fours years ago when she gave up her career, her family, her life. That P-test almost lost her sanity. She didn't know where to go, where should she run to, or where should she start? Some friends told her to carry on, some said she should get rid of "it". 

She made a not-so-easy-decision for a girl like her who had lots of dreams. Yes! She would keep him.. "There's already a life inside me that i should take care of!" Being pregnant was never easy. There were moments of instability, moments wherein you don't have the will to survive. Yet, she carried it on. He was always there for her. He never stopped caring, loving and understanding what she went thru.. Then, her "serenity" was born on the 19th of February of 2002. She cried when she saw him. Tears of joy that she could never explain. It's worth fighting for all this time. She felt certain happiness staring over his pretty face and could still remember his tiny hands touching hers. The scent of a baby that always made her day. He's her life... her dream... her all! 

But then, he's gone! After 9 days of being with him, God had took him from her. She wanted to die... yet, she anguished everything and tried to fight back... She almost lost her sanity...

Few years passed... yet, the girl still feel the pain. She still feels the same grief and mournful sorrows. She's still fighting. Though there are endless questions... Questions that were left unanswered...

Shuteye

For some strange reasons, I woke up past 6am. Only had almost 5hrs of sleep. I reached my bag and look for the vcds i borrowed from Kwinny and Bo. It was Swordfish by Hugh Jackman and Halle Berry. It didn't impress me when i finished the movie. Then i watched Something's Gotta Give. It's a feel-good movie of Dianne Keaton and oh shoot... just forgot the name of the actor. Sheez!! After that, i watched 8 episodes of Season 5 CSI Las Vegas. Though i already watched it when i bought it for my own Christmas present, i still enjoyed it. I'm into investigative stories and crime scenes uplifts my adrenalin except of course for blood. Eeew... My friend from highschool just called me up. They heard i'm in town and they wanted to drop by. So, i've been awake all day. I got my sleep at 5pm.

I'm home at last

I finally arrived home around 5pm. I didn't bring my laundry. It's a bright idea. I would not want to travel carrying a luggage of laundry. Duh?! Hell no!!! I found myself rushing to the fridge and get something to eat. Too bad coz i hafta have it cooked. Nobody's there but me. Obviously, I don't know how to cook. And that's my problem. 

So, I just settled with a slice of choc mousse and a soda. Flipped on my remote control, tried to find something to watch. Then, I pampered myself with sleep. It was 10pm when Mom knocked at my room. I woke up. She just asked me to eat and go to shower before i should go to sleep. Hello?! Mom, I just woke up. But then again it's Mom. Just found myself turning off the tv. Rushing through our dining. They just prepared my favorites... yeheeeeeeeeeyyy... I'm finally home..

Trapped

Supposedly, i'd go home to Sta. Rosa. Because Mom is freaking out on

her txt message the other day. She asked if i have no plans of going back home.

It's a very long story. To make the story short, Mom didn't know that i left home when they left for grandma's house. Going back, i planned to go home yesterday. But, I was trapped with a supcall. huwaaaahhh... I was left with no choice. I'm the only one left who could take that call. Windy said, it's just a simple billing concern. So, being a good samaritan, I accepted the call. Yet I wonder why Mom didn't bother texting me the whole day.

Just had a haircut with my roommates. It was Maya's idea. It's new year, so i guess, i should have a new look. Everybody agreed that we all go to the salon.

Stupid! Stupid! Stupid! Why the player isn't working on Bo's and Marcus blog. Sh*t!!! It's making me sick!