Rattling stage

Never wanted to complicate things. I'm just waiting for the right time. Maybe, he thought I'm just bluffing. I messed it all up. So, i told him forget what i said. It won't matter to him anyway. He said it matters. I wish he could read my mind and i could do the same. But, he can't, so am i.

Hovering

I know there's something... I need to know what he really thinks. He gave me all the signs. It's been awhile.. Now is the right moment to know. And, I'm right! I caught him off-guard. Well, it's better to regret things that you tried instead of regretting asking yourself "what if?"

He said looking good is an understatement. I look hot! So, there! Gotcha! Ah well, that was exactly the purpose. But he didn't know anything. He kept on asking. I kept on responding figuratively. Let him think for now... Let him read my mind. That's how it will bring him throb.

Broken-winded

I woke up at 4:30 am. I have nothing to do in our orange house. So, i decided to go to the office even if it's my off. I checked my email. I knew it! He sent me an email.

"His words.. undying words..sweet words... lies! lies!"

Told myself gotta stop! It's easier said than done. I know, i'll get over it. I'd never indulge myself.. never again! Venom was never a sweet jazz. It was more of a potion... deceiving! alluring! misleading! deluding! desirable yet habitual!

In the absence of pleasure... there's tranquil.

Stalker??!!

Just got an anonymous message.. ah well, i think, someone's fooling around

or playing jokes on me. I'm not affected... He's just a fan! hahahahaha...

I miss him. I miss him. Damn!

Maybe, he's the one who sent that message! (Asa ka pa, Ice!) Now I'm thinking!

Definitely, I'll rejoice if it's really him.

"Miss you! Miss me?" I'm still puzzled.

Getting to my nerves

Good thing i wasn't able to see that asshole. He's such a silly creature! Dumb ass! Hornbutt!! eeewww... I really hate his guts! I can describe him in one word - "Moron!" It's freaking me out! Eeeerrrrr...

Oh wait.. actually, I can say a lot of things about him...

Liar. Stupid. Asshole. Dumb. Fool. Stubborn. Wretched. Imbecile. Bastard. Shitface. Bullfrog. Irresponsible. Offensive. Jerk. Obtuse. Senseless. Torpid. Dull. Crass. Vexatious, Exasperating. Brutish. Unreasonable. Hick. Insensible. Slugish.

...and it all boils down

"He's obsolete... Nonsense!"

Finally, i vent it out...

Drowned

Once again, I'm drowned...

It was never love.

It was something that i anticipated,

Stupidity!

How can i escape?

He's feeding me

with the sweetness of his venom?

I never refused...

It was an instinct!

Did it make me happy?

Apparently, yes!

Did i regret?

Initially, no!

Again, it was passion!

I knew for a fact,

it was a big mistake!

yet, I embraced it all once again...

Am i selfish?

I guess so...

he was never my life,

though, it was the venom

i longed for...

"See you in a couple of days!"

Again, i'm strayed! I'm totally drowned.. Do i have plans of stopping? I don't have the will to do so...

Quality time

Finally, i saw Sophie (Scott and Eden's baby). She's so healthy and pretty. I met them over at G4 infront of Tater's. Eden and I talked seriously. We cleared out all the biases and confusions we had in the past. Tita (Eden's mom) asked me to go with her in Hongkong this march. Well, it's exciting! That's something i can explore.

I had great time with kermit. We watched Meet the Fockers and went to Music21 after. He was so crazy singing alternative songs like Unwell, Wherever you will go, etc. It was really fun. We went home by 1am.