When I was still young, I found it easy to deal with everything... All I worry about was how to get ACE on my subjects, how to keep my scholarship and how to keep my parents proud. I would only cry over something that's too petty like not going to an overnight swimming with my classmates or to hike at Mt. Makiling because my parents wouldn't allow me to. I could still remember my tantrums when my Mom and Dad didn't sign my waiver to go to my Girl Scout camping. But after a week or two, I was okay and fine as if nothing happened.
I started to be independent when I was 18. I stayed in a dormitory approximately 2 hour drive from home. It was my parents preference because I'd always got sick with the travel time to the University. I was on my 2nd year College then.
I learned in life, for you to be able to keep up, you must mingle with the different types of people. I grew up in a conservative family. My parents don't have vices. College life was a breakthrough to accept change. Everything's different. I met a gay couple who used to live in the same house I was. At first, I felt it was such a moral disgrace. Growing up as a Catholic Christian, I felt they were sinners. But the guys really rock my world. They taught me being gay is just an acceptance of who they really are. Falling inlove with the same sex is unconditional. Come to think of it, it is... I also met a high-end prostitute who used to be in my class. She was pretty and all that. Before I didn't understand why'd she do that. Then I came to realize, it was her choice to finish College. I got friends who were addicted to shabu and marijuana. They'd usually party before our exams and Parliamentary procedure recital. Some of them did that before our Theatrical performance. It was when I realized, it would make them feel confident and face rejections.
I remember this friend in my my first year high. She's really an epitome of beauty and brains. She grew up in States, and enrolled in our University because she had a traumatic past back there. She had a boyfriend who was also our classmate. They were together until we graduated. She went back to the US after graduation. She said she'd just need to work harder so that she could pay for the lot she wanted them to live in when they settle down. But I heard they didn't end up together. Infact, the guy is happily married now. I didn't understand what else could that guy ask for? He almost had it all. She's a total catch!
It was when I realized people make their own choices. With the gay couple, it was their choice why they'd chose to be with the same sex. They'd express themselves freely with one another. They broke up before they graduated, but they remained friends until now. With the high-end prostitute, teething was her way to survive College. Now, she's a prominent lawyer. With my addicted friends, partying made them surpass our not-so-easy exams and shows. They made it to College and became successful Entrepenuers. With my friend in first year high, it was her choice to leave for the states to buy the lot of her dreams in the expense of her own happiness. She's still single by choice, and successful business woman. With the guy, it was his choice to chose someone who would stand up for him through richer and in poorer. Maybe, he was looking for a deeper meaning of relationship.
Funny thing about choices is once you make them, you have to live with them. You gotta embrace them. Never look back for it would only hurt you so bad...
Pause.
Maybe it's time for me to reassess the situation... Gotta make my own choice! Whatever it is, I'd make sure, it's for my own sake... And I won't regret.
