People tend to release their stress in many ways. But what I found worked for me is thru blogging. I was as so amazed checking all my entries way back 2005. Oh yes! I've been addicted to blog writing way way back. It's been years since I posted an entry. Yet now I'm back.
I was damn busy last year. 2009 for me was a year of challenges, triumphs and new beginnings. Early part of the year, I left my comfort zone. It was really hard to leave if you knew you belong in that group. For what? I don't know… Maybe because I was bored with my life, and I wanted to prove something. So there, I joined another group. First few weeks being in that core, I knew it - there's a mismatch in culture. But, I've always been a fighter. Despite challenges, depressions and over-stressed work, I tried to find my inner core happiness to bring me back to the core. I couldn't lose my grip, couldn't let go that easily. No regrets of trying to belong… I learned and experienced a lot. It's just not meant for me. Sometimes, you just couldn't fit in no matter what you do. It's hard to embrace something you don't really believe in. At first, you could try to immerse… but sooner, you won't be able to take it anymore. It feels like you can't breathe anymore.
To those people who hurt me - THANK YOU! Without you, I wouldn't be stronger. I would have never realized what path I should really be taking. Because of you, I came to my senses - and understood I can't always please everyone. Thank you! Now, I'm stronger and better!
To those people I hurt in the past - I'M SORRY! Maybe, I'm just another girl, and I couldn't stand for what I should be. Or maybe I was not looking at my imperfections.
I've been blessed because I came to a realization. It's about time for me to do what I love the most. Nobody can stop me now from doing what I want. Being ME without any façade. I welcome 2010 with many opportunities to grow and mature as a person.
