Miss India

Raj asked me why am i so happy and alive today. Yet, it's just a cover up. The truth of the matter is.. i really wanna tremble down of boredom. I never felt so empty til now. I'm trying to condition myself that i'm happy. But the sense of longing still exists. My family went to province. They'd be back after new year. I was thinking if i'd go home but that would just make me more empty.

Well, i made some modifications in my blog. See?! It has its new look! Thanks to Gian. i took so much of his time to help me. He's such a good looking guy with a good heart. (Wow!) mwah mwah mwah. Thanks so much dude! you just made my day!

I was with Ron's team at Sbarro's. It was his treat. That's what it takes to be part of the team wherein the team manager is really munificent. hehehe... I was monitoring calls. And the last thing i knew, they're dragging me to Glorietta. It was a hella fun! Now I'm thinking!!! Isn't it a bribe or something? (peace Ron!)

obssession

I'm not fond of reading books unless it's motivational like "Follow your heart" by Andrew Matthews. Uhm! Actually, there are 2 books that i really like: "Anne Frank" and "Les Miserables" by Victor Hugo. I dunno! But, i was really inspired of Dan Brown's Da Vinci Code. Thanks to Raj & Jill. They insisted me to read it. And you bet! Like everybody else who read it, i became curious. I surfed the internet about Holy Grail and The Last Supper. And i was so amazed after researching. The next thing i knew, i was reading Angels & Demons which he also wrote. Dammit! I should've read it first! It was Robert Langdon's first adventure. Because of that obsession to his books, I just finished reading Digital Fortress. It's really fast paced, very informative and full of excitement. The twist of the story is really remarkable that of his other books. Yup! I'm planning to read his Deception Point... and IT'S A MUST!

Xmas buff!

Yesterday, me and Maya went to divi to buy gifts. Though, we didn't stay longer than we used to. It turned out as a nightmare. I wonder where the hell those people came from. Literally, we couldn't move. Sidewalks were occupied. Maya was murmur-ring that they should be home and wait for Christmas eve. 

Life is so cruel! How i wish i can take a break! Today is Christmas yet i'm at work. I brought some gifts for my friends. I felt like i'm Miss Santa. I finally opened my blog. Damn! I forgot my password. Luckily, i was able to retrieve it just now. It took me some time to figure it out. Yeah right! Everybody from TQA's already home. I hafta stay until 11am. Now i regret why do i have to come here at 2am. Just hafta wait for an hour and i'm outta here!

my apologies

Just posted a journal yesterday about filipinos make me puke... Honestly, a friend posted it in my friendster. so, i decided to have it posted in multiply. Subsequently, after 10 hrs of sleep.. i checked my email & i got a reply.. (really dunno who the heck is he..) but i do appreciate him updating me. The truth of the matter is i had no idea to whom that f*cking article originated! It just hit me off when i read that in friendster. My apologies.. it was an honest mistake! I just removed the entry... Thanks!

So Damn High

"I never stopped thinking of you.. your memories never failed to hunt me even in my dreams.. I tried to resist but there's a force wanting me to think of you more & more each day.. Though, I don't need "E" or cocaine, you're too good enough to drive me insane.. No matter how it gets me high, you're the only one who makes me fly..no way out, cant get through.. I'm so DAMN ADDICTED TO YOU..."

Why did you hurt me so bad? Why am I still thinking of you? I should be fine now... But I know, am still NOT, and Lord knows if I will ever be...

Bed ridden

I hate it when I'm sick.. Imagine my life's like a hell in bed since Saturday noon... I didn't eat anything for the past few days (just soup)... duh?! I really hate medicines! (but of course, I was left w/ no choice but to intake 'em or else.. might caught me sleeping forever..) 

I didn't crave for anything to eat until last night... trying to get my strength back... yes doc! I'll start to drink my vitamins! hmp! I'd even bring my umbrella so i've got protection when it rains.. but pls.. I can't stop smoking.. peace!

Torn

Again.. I'm shattered into pieces.. Once again life twirls down hill...

You know what I hate about? 

It's being confused not knowing what to do running around in circles until you get dizzy and fall... 

Might be caught up.. 

Might be down dead! 

Might stray me into infidelity.. 

Is that what the rock bottom of life is....?


It's killing me once again.. though, I would want to anguish it... I'm still wanting the pain.

The misery I felt years ago. 

Why I'm still feeling the pain? 

Why I'm still longing? 

I'm totally disturbed!!! 

I hope, in chaos.. I may find peace.. 

In the darkness, I may find the light.. 

Hatred? May this lead me back to love... 

Will this lead me back to you?

You were my life.. And, you took it away from me.