Reminder to all the Moms out there

A couple of weeks ago a child therapist that I know looked at my kids and said, 

"You're such a good mom" 

Feeling like a total fraud I blurted, "I don't feel like a good mom. The kids are driving me so crazy, I'm losing my temper and falling asleep at night wondering where I'm going to get the patience for another day" 

To which she responded with a statement that I haven't been able to forget,

"Babies cry, it's how they communicate. Toddlers scream, children whinge and teenagers complain. 

Then moms say the words 'for f#$& sake under their breath before ever responding. It's how we communicate. 

But guess what Con? It's better than silence. 

A house full of screaming kids and fighting teenagers and a parent who's being thrown every question and request is a healthy one to me. 

It's the silent children, the scared toddlers, the teenagers that don't come home and the parents who aren't in communication with their children that I worry about. 

And kids don't drive you crazy, you were crazy already. That's why you had them."

And just like that, I felt like a good parent again. 

Deep breaths, you're doing a good job. 

💗👑 Constance Hall

The Sunday Currently vol. 2

CURRENTLY 

Reading

March Schedule spreadsheet sent to me to review. 

Writing

This blog.

Listening

Somewhere. Off to next in my playlist. Fix You by Coldplay.

Thinking

about purchasing a bahay-kubo or just build a tree house for our backyard which we haven't been using eversince it was all cleaned up . With this pandemic, the kids are giving me tantrums why they can't go out to the mall, or they can't go to the amusement park and that we haven't been spending vacations out of town like what we used to. So yeah, I'm seriously considering a major overhaul in our backyard. I wanted a landscape initially for my plants.

Smelling

my kopiko blanca aroma. I'm just imagining this is brewed. 😂 

Wishing

this pandemic will be over so we all can back to our lives. 

Hoping

to get approval for my work proposals. It's been sitting there for weeks. 

Wearing

navy blue polka dot sundress or daster perhaps. 😂

Loving

the sight of my kiddos while I watch them sleeping. They really keep my sanity whenever I get anxiety attacks.

Wanting

to receive all my online purchases over the last few days. Yup! I hoarded some stuff again. Hey, grief and sadness have been killing me this month. I needed a distraction... I want a diversion. 

Needing

TIME to practice driving and do my insanity work out again. 

Feeling

clueless. Not sure what I feel at the moment. Yeah, I maybe complicated at times. 

Official Goodbye to 2020

I just recently decided to go back to writing. I haven’t been consistent for years, and there was really a long pause. This is a reminder to myself to keep on doing what I love - writing.

It is never too late to post my year ender. Just wanted to recap what happened last year so that when I look back, it will remind me the events. It would bring back the memories - be it happy or sad!

January

Started the year with personal issues. I attended high school reunion in Santa Rosa. Yup, I am that boring that I had to take my work with me.

February

I knew I was really sad. It happens all the time when February comes. But as always, I tried so hard to fight my inner battles. 

Bought our 2nd family car. Welcome to our family, Echo. We really hoped to build more memories just like what we had shared with Fortune. 

My birth month. February will always be memorable. Always.

March

Last time our family went out together for some grocery shopping. Classes are suspended due to new strain of virus - covid-19.

Nationwide lockdown started to take place after President Rodrigo’s announcement.

Good thing - I already anticipated it would happen. We were able to upgrade to automatic washing machine, plus nabudol-budol ako sa SM because I ended up buying an inverter fridge as well. I didn’t matter if I zeroed out our savings. I knew I had to...

I was able to provide PPE and n95 masks to my sister who is a nurse.

April

Paranoia strikes back. With Taal volcano eruption and covid pandemic, my mind is racing wars on its own. I was prepared for the pandemic - stocks and supplies-wise. That's how paranoid I am. But it helps you know.

Started planting. Yes, I became an official PlanTita. Though, I love to plant herbs and crops. It was so satisfying when I had my first harvest. Kilig ako sobra!

May

Addicted to online shopping. I never imagined ‘add to cart’ would give me different kind of ecstasy. 😅 I mean, seriously. It is sooooo satisfying.

Liquor ban lifted. Although some parts of the Philippines are still banned. I'm not an alcoholic. Well, not for so many years - but with the lockdown, and all, don't we need something to keep us sane?

And yes as expected, I hoarded. 😅 At first, members of this group I joined, bashed me when I was looking for a rider to deliver alcoholic beverages in our house. 

Maybe the old me would retaliate. The old me would always fight back. But hey, people change and so do I. So I had to post the same photo above on that group to politely give them an update that it's lifted based on city ordinance.

Truth and behold, months after - there was another liquor ban. Our alcohol supplies lasted for months. Infact, there's still Vodka left up to now. 😆

June

Multiple birthday celebrations in the family. I had to improvise my kiddos requests to have a Toy Story and Super Mario theme party. 

Uno cried before his birthday party as he was expecting some guests. But because of the lockdown, we're not able to invite anyone not even relatives. I had to explain again what's the situation in our world. Thanks to his classmates and teachers for the birthday greetings. 

July

Thank God for all the blessings. I'm just so grateful that we're not having difficulties during these trying times. Almost 6 months in quarantine - we still had food on our table. And we're all healthy - No sickness in the family. 

Got my pink gaming chair from the husband. 😍

Preparation for the kiddos online class. We were hesitant at first if the distant learning will be useful for our children. Bottomline, we enrolled them to online classes, same school. It's better that way rather than no school for a year. Who knows how long the pandemic would last?

August

My 3rd Young Living Premium Starter kit arrived. This time with desert mist diffuser. My first purchase was on July 2019, and it came with a dewdrop diffuser. My 2nd purchase was with feather owl diffuser for the kiddos.

So in love with frankincense. I don't know but it really does wonders for me. Well, actually for the entire family. I really thought about real hard before investing YL PSK. But it really works for me and my family. I will create another blog for my Oilbularyo journey.

September

Our house renovation is partially completed. At least for the garage and roof. I wish we have so much money to spend on renovation. But we're living within our means. It's not practical to loan. So, we save then we spend. 

Got a gift for myself. I upgraded to iPhone 11 from iPhone 7+. I haven't changed my phone for years. So yeah, I deserve to splurge for all my hard work. 😊

October

Our first copper mask. Lakas maka-artista feels. Wag na kumontra, nakikibasa ka lng! 😅 But seriously if you want to grab some, you can get it from my store. Here's the link: https://coppermask.ph/cpshop/PPS10940516 or you can also message me on facebook.

Mom-bie (Mom Zombie). Literally juggling work, biz and being a mom. This was the time I wanted a helper or a yaya. So I decided to set aside my online biz. 

November

Super typhoon came. Thank God we're prepared and safe. If I didn't push for our home renovation, we could've suffered big time. So, thank God for the wisdom and guidance whenever I make decisions based on my paranoia. Because, yeah it does help all the time. Good thing that the husband would always go with and respect my gut feel.

Did it ever happen to you that sometimes you'd ask yourself how come you have a comfortable life while others are suffering. Because I do. Don't get me wrong, I'm very grateful for what I have. And I know I really worked hard to help my husband to provide for our family. It's just that it makes me sad knowing that there are thousands or probably millions out there who don't have a roof or food on their table. 

I'm not a millionaire, yet. I just really feel sorry for all the people who were really impacted. So the only thing I can do at the moment is to give back to my community to the best that I can. 

December

Virtual Year End Party was a blast! 🤩 I'm so grateful for my virtual team. They're all amazing!

Had my first spread, and I kinda get addicted to it. I even bought a new cheeseboard to go with it for the holidays. 

Quarantine Christmas and New Year Celebration with the family.

Yes, I had too much rose wine that I was already sleeping before clock strikes 12:00 on Jan 1st. Grabe! Thunders na talaga! 😆

We haven’t been going out of town due to pandemic. I remember back in 2019, I was planning for our HK family trip. Oh well, I just hope that the world’s situation would at least improve in 2021.

So that's it for my 2020! All in all, it was a blessed and fruitful year. Of course, there were bumps that year that I didn't highlight or didn't go into details anymore. How was your 2020?

Okay Not To Be Okay

Tired of being okay with things I am not okay with. Did everything right but still feel sad. And it always hits the hardest from dusk to dawn.

Badly need my mental peace.

The Sunday Currently vol. 1

Well this is not a secret that I am a fan of Maine. Yeah, I'm inspired by her Sunday Currently.  She adapted it from The Sunday Currently by siddathornton so I thought of why not do it as well since I'm back to blogging (not vlogging). 

It's been quite some time since I ever posted a new blog post. There's nothing much interesting about me to watch out for. I just want to do this for ME. This used to be my therapy. If you happen to be interested of who am I, what am I thinking or feeling --- then, feel free to read. 😀 No judgement! ✌

CURRENTLY 

Reading

my blogs.  Yes blogs. I had a looooot... Some are in drafts, some are published. 😅 I realized what kind of a person am I years ago - my teenage life to adulthood. I'm able to understand what emotions I had back then that transpired me to write emo blogs. 😂

Writing

I said this many times, but yeah... Back to writing. I already installed blogspot in my iPhone, so just like the old days I'm going to throw away my emotions in writing.

Listening

I Wanted You by Ina on Apple Music. I used to cry whenever I heard this song before. I'm literally laughing right now. OMG! Super pathetic! 😂😂😂 

Thinking

about Vacation. Vacation. Vacation. It's been more than a year that I haven't really had a well spent vacation. We used to go out of town. But ever since pandemic came, all plans were cancelled. 

Smelling

scent of Perry Ellis Original I sprayed all over me after taking a shower. I know, I know I'm just home. But hey, we all have the urge of feeling and 'smelling' good even we're at home. You see, I don't really go out for months. So what am I gonna do to all my perfumes?! Might as well use it, right? It makes me happy and calm.

Wishing

to finish all my work plans for the upcoming week. I've been really working on it for quite sometime. It would be really nice to see its fruition.

Hoping

to take away all the sadness in me. It's always this month of the year. Always. 😕

Wearing

blue Family shirt with 'Nanay' print and shorts. I wore this during my kids' Family day at school 2 years ago. Well at least, it still fits. I'd like to think I lost weight. But it's just my definition on the basis that I can still wear it. hahahaha

Loving

that I find solace writing again. I have a few blog entries to publish this week. Uhm, maybe after I decide if I should publish. It might just stay in drafts. But we'll see...

Wanting

to have 8 hour sleep. San ba nabibili yun? 😅 Honestly, with my schedule at work, managing my online/offline biz and being a mom - I feel that sleeping 8 hrs is already a luxury. But I'd really love to experience it again. 

Needing

sleep. I can't stress this enough. Just a straight 8 hour sleep please - without any interruptions from the kiddos. Not that I'm complaining though. I love my kids so much. I just need to hibernate, you know.

Feeling

relieved, for now. That's the satisfaction I get whenever I write. So yeah, I will do this until I feel better inside. 

Blessed Sunday to All! 

Across the Borders

Last Sunday, our City Mayor announced total lockdown closing all borders in our nearby cities. Though my husband and I knew there’s a slim chance we’d be able to cross. We still took our chances to go thru the border. It’s unusual not seeing people on the streets. Guards (with their masks on) stationed on the first checkpoint waived at us, instructed my husband to pull down the car window. We told the guards the reason why we have to cross. He let us enter but told us we won’t be able to pass thru to another checkpoint. But still we took our chances.. I saw my brother’s car maybe 3-5 meters away from the gate, and wasn’t allowed to come in. We had to ask the other guards to give us a few minutes to let us pass thru and take a u-turn just to hand over something to my brother (at that time already stepped out of his car.) The guards opened the gate for us but immediately followed, and told us to quickly come back to the gate. It was quick - my husband just handed over the ecobag with PPE. It felt like we were on a movie... The difference is that, there was no musical scoring, no dramatic dialogues, and IT IS ALL REAL.

You see, my sister is a nurse. And while we’re all advised to simply stay at home - they’re risking their life to stay in medical facility to save lives. Countless times we had to ask her to just stay home. She doesn’t need to go to work anymore considering what’s happening right now - but she always come back and say “she took an oath.” I may seem to be selfish asking her to stop, but hey she’s my sister and I don’t want to risk her life. Our  family respected her choice, we support her selfless decision. But the major problem is they’re running out of PPE. So yeah, I hope you see the picture why we had to endure and took chances passing thru the borders. Quick meetup as it is - but those PPE would help my sister to fight and survive as she help save lives.

If you ask me how in the hell I was able to secure N95 and safety goggles - the answer is simple, my paranoia helped. Period. Thank you also to those who gave her protective suit. That means a lot to us knowing she’ll be protected.

While we’re told to just simply stay at home. Health professionals and other front liners are risking their life to serve and fulfill their oath to save lives. So yes, it is a big deal for me! I have a sister risking her life out there to save yours and many others. LISTEN! STAY HOME! That’s all what we can do as we face this global health emergency. Let’s protect ourselves, protect our loved ones and our community. And we can protect the front-liners by staying home. Let’s flatten the curve. Stop spreading virus!!! 

Just a favor please, let’s include my sister, these selfless warriors and modern heroes in our prayers as they go thru this battle everyday. Thank you! 🙏

Today... I was born

My Facebook timeline/messenger, LinkedIn messages and emails are flooded with greetings from friends old and new, highschool & college classmates, family & relatives, clients, business ventures and previous colleagues. I’m so overwhelmed with the messages that are coming in up until now. Maybe it’s the PMS that I’m getting so emotional...

Lately, I have been feeling lonely for some reasons. I always have this kind of feeling every February of the year. It’s been consistent for years. Don’t get me wrong I’m happy with my life but I felt something is lacking - so I resulted to collecting hobbies. From adult coloring book, health & fitness, gaming,  arts & crafts to gardening, I have indulged myself into it thinking it will fill in. But I was wrong as what I discovered is that I have been missing the OLD me - who completely loves challenges at work. I maybe ranting all the time back then while I was in the process of moving up. And I’d like to believe it was part of the process I had to go thru to be the better version of ME. Lucky enough for those who have always been focused on what they wanted. But as for me, TIME and LIFE lessons have brought me to that realization that made me look at things maturely and positively later on. I really had to go through all that cycle over and over to make me who I am right now.

So TODAY, my birthday! I have received some really GREAT news, one of which is job offer related. And I felt complete satisfaction. Prior to that, I received several offers to work in an office, back to corporate world. But my husband and I were really not liking that idea. At first, I wasn’t really serious about getting a home-based job again. I’ve not been working for almost 2 years. Well, I became busy with other online money making projects. The MomPreneur in me has risen. Yet like what I was saying - there’s something missing in my being. That’s when I found out it’s time for me roll with the punches and experience the hustle at work. Well, I have been working from home since 2009. And I have managed several teams remotely since then. Fast forward - I got this irresistible offer that when I was asked when will I start - I immediately said tomorrow, which means it’s happening in about 12 hrs from now.

I learned to never burn bridges with your previous coworkers especially boss(es). I’m really delighted  that my previous boss have given positive recommendations about me so I got the job offer! I’m always grateful for all the favors, be it small or big!

Okay, this is a long-boring post but heck - I’m really happy and complete. I may not have a perfect life right now with all the bumps and the blows here and there. But, I always bring back myself to my what makes me tick - my family! So, here... sharing with you the cake I got from my husband. My birthday celebration is really intimate with family - and that’s all I need.