Requiem

I just watched Double Jeopardy by Ashley Judd. It made me cry how she longed for her son while she was in prison for 6 years. It made me even feel ill how the movie ended.

I couldn't help but to cry my heart out. I miss my baby Wacks. If only he's still here... i will never let him go. Fate brought me lots of pains for 3 years. Loneliness binds the soul... Deterioration of undying laughters... Maybe, i'm nothing compared to what i was then. Maybe, i'm useless compared to what i have dreamed before... Sometimes, you just don't know if luck is playing on you.

Almost fours years ago when she gave up her career, her family, her life. That P-test almost lost her sanity. She didn't know where to go, where should she run to, or where should she start? Some friends told her to carry on, some said she should get rid of "it". 

She made a not-so-easy-decision for a girl like her who had lots of dreams. Yes! She would keep him.. "There's already a life inside me that i should take care of!" Being pregnant was never easy. There were moments of instability, moments wherein you don't have the will to survive. Yet, she carried it on. He was always there for her. He never stopped caring, loving and understanding what she went thru.. Then, her "serenity" was born on the 19th of February of 2002. She cried when she saw him. Tears of joy that she could never explain. It's worth fighting for all this time. She felt certain happiness staring over his pretty face and could still remember his tiny hands touching hers. The scent of a baby that always made her day. He's her life... her dream... her all! 

But then, he's gone! After 9 days of being with him, God had took him from her. She wanted to die... yet, she anguished everything and tried to fight back... She almost lost her sanity...

Few years passed... yet, the girl still feel the pain. She still feels the same grief and mournful sorrows. She's still fighting. Though there are endless questions... Questions that were left unanswered...