Letter from a friend: Prisoner of Own Captivity

A friend of mine sharing a letter which has never been sent out. 

How do you mend a broken heart? How do you tell your heart to stop beating for someone you're not suppose to love? How could you tell if it's really love or it's just a mere admiration or attraction maybe. 

Been thinking crazy for the past few weeks. Trying to do soul searching but still questions are unanswered. Will confrontation work? Should I tell what I feel to make this feeling go away? But what if I'm wrong? What if there's really nothing?

This is insane. It's been haunting me. I listen to radio, I hear THAT song. I watch movies, I hear THAT song or thy name. Am I too desperate to know the answers? Are you thinking of me? What's the point of knowing the answers? Will it make any difference? It won't change a damn thing. What it is… I really don't know. When will I find out? That am not even sure.

Sigh.

Or maybe I'm just thinking too much. Maybe because I seek for answers, it made me think I feel something special. Maybe I just over analyzed things. I should think that this is not worth it. I shouldn't waste my time thinking and seeking for answers. I guess, I'm a prisoner of my own captivity… There's no point of thinking… no point at all. Maybe then, this will soon fade away.

- Anonymous

Reminisce

Dark, quiet night.

Suddenly it all echoed

Sweet sound of laughter

How amazing it made me smile...

Something to hold on to

Call it faith! 

Trust maybe...

That maybe someday

Destiny will lead me back to where it all started

New place, yet a common ground!

Out of comfy

On my way to town yesterday, there were so many things running through my head. I asked myself, did I make the right decision of leaving the company. Technically, I'm not yet resigned. It will be effective 2 weeks from now. But I was really wondering where will this lead me? Few decisions I made in the past practically made me regret at some point. Decisions that were decided due to the spur of the moment reaction. This time it's different. I'm physically, emotionally and morally affected. See, I was given a task to manage a startup account. It's really a long story. To cut to the chase, I did, and it went well except for the past month when we had a major setback.

Leaving the company wasn't an easy decision. I love what I do, I love the people I work with, I simply love my team. I recruited them, trained them, gave them confidence so they can be the best of what they can be. Maybe I got tired of all the stress and pressure. Managing an account with 3 LOBs isn't an easy job. I wasn't just a manager. They weren't just my team - They're family. At times, I was rough to my so-called kids. I usually get hot tempered. I was too disappointed... I felt... empty.

I believe things happened for a reason. This decision I made of leaving my comfort zone, my fortress wasn't easy but it's worth it...