A bit of Conundrum

Take risks:  if you win, you will be happy; if you lose, you will be wise.

What if we could turn back the dial. Maybe if not for ourselves, but maybe for someone else. Turn back the dial to a time when laughter was easy, and worries and cares were a million miles away. Turn the dial back to that moment right before the pain began. When innocence was lost. What if.

Sometimes i wonder what if this would have been different with us. What if we didn't live so far? What if we hadn't of lied? What if things have changed? But then I realize that I could be here for days going through all the what if's and just have to face reality.

What if it’s time. To break free. Free. Really free. What if. We could really grasp what that means. Then live it.

Men and Marriage

I just want to share this post from FB. (....from a man's point of view  daw) 

Last week we threw a bachelor party for one of our good friends  and then on Saturday afternoon we stood beside him in our tuxes while he and his fiancee said their vows. As I stood up there looking across the crowd, decided that our next topic on this page would definitely talk about marriage. I also realized that a lot of women may not want to hear the truth about men and marriage because the truth is so simple that they could not accept it without questioning their own  relationship. 

But I am here to tell you - DON'T FOOL YOURSELF,  IT'S  NOT THAT COMPLICATED. 

The sad thing about it is that it took a woman  to bring it to my attention. 

I had a close friend of mine tell me that  she was pursuing a stable man with a girlfriend. When I asked her did she  feel wrong about that she said "Shit, a girlfriend ain't nothin  -girlfriends come and go. If the man is established and he isn't either married or engaged, then he is not that serious about her and he is fair game" 

I thought about this for a minute and came to a cold conclusion: IF A MAN IS STABLE IN LIFE AND HE IS IN A RELATIONSHIP AND NOT MARRIED,  THEN IT IS BECAUSE HE IS NOT SURE ABOUT THE WOMAN THAT HE IS WITH. 

He is not willing to commit to her and constantly has his eye open for something  better or is waiting for her to become something better. Pointblank. When he finds a woman that he is satisfied with, he will make her his wife. 

And ladies, sorry to tell some of you, but it doesn't take 4 or 5  years for that man to figure it out. It doesn't take 2 or 3 years  either. The only reason that a man will get married after that long of  a time is because he's tired of looking for something better. And trust me, that's definitely what he was doing all of those years. 

So if you  should happen to find yourself in one of those "long term" relationships then  maybe you should step back, take a look at yourself and wonder what it is  that you're missing that this man is not willing to fully commit. Don't make  excuses to yourself and your girlfriends saying things like "Oh he's waiting  til he gets a better job" or "he's waiting to finish school" or "he's waiting  until he moves from his apartment to a house". DON'T FOOL YOURSELF, IT'S NOT  THAT COMPLICATED. Which one of those things can't be done with a wife or  fiancee by your side? 

So ladies, when you read this think about your  situation and that man that you are living with. Or the one that you spend  many nights over his house or him over yours. Think about your baby's father  that you are still in a sexual relationship with.  Think about your "ex"  that you are in a sexual relationship with.  Think about your  "boyfriend". And definitely think twice before you brag on a  relationship that's a couple of years long and you still have no  commitment. 

Like I've said before, I'm a man and I know the situation.  I've been there and I know that we can come up with some extremely  reasonable excuses, but.....DON'T FOOL YOURSELF, IT'S NOT THAT  COMPLICATED. :)

Just a cup of coffee

"I hate coffee.." Oh well, believe it or not, I never drink coffee before, not until I worked graveyard shift. What else should keep you up from evening til morning? It's not easy to work at night where everybody else is sleeping, and you're just about to start your day. Working at night, sleeping in the morning.. That's been my life for almost 10 years.

You know what's surprising? I stumbled upon this Greek study, and it turns out that sipping just one cup of coffee a day can actually help lower your blood pressure. Yeah, I was just as shocked as you are!

Now, let's talk about coffee. I mean, everybody seems to be head over heels for Starbucks, Seattle's Best, Coffee Bean, and all that jazz. Me? Well, I didn't really care about coffee until I had my first cup. But here's the kicker – I'm a tad paranoid. I won't touch coffee unless I'm the one who bought it from Starbucks or some legit coffee shop. Call me quirky or a total freak, but I've always had this weird idea that someone might sneak something into my cup – you know, like a potion or poison. If I accept coffee from someone else, it means I trust them, and trust isn't something I hand out like candy. It's just the way I roll!

But here's the real revelation. Coffee made me realize something profound. The cup you drink it from? Yeah, it's just an overpriced container that sometimes hides what's inside. What we're really after is the coffee itself, not the cup it comes in. So why do we all go gaga over fancy cups? We even check out each other's cups, for crying out loud!

Now, think about this. Life? That's your coffee. And those jobs, money, and social status? They're just the cups we use to hold our lives. The cup doesn't change the taste of the coffee, right? Similarly, your job or bank balance doesn't define the quality of your life.

Sometimes, we get so caught up admiring the cup that we forget to savor the coffee inside. So, let's focus on enjoying the coffee, not obsessing over the cups! The happiest people aren't necessarily the ones with the fanciest cups; they're the ones who know how to make the best of what they've got. Keep it simple, spread love generously, care deeply, and talk kindly.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm daydreaming about a mouthwatering coffee jelly... Mmm...

Things Every Woman Must Know About Men

There are two types of guys out there: the honorable men and the dishonorable dudes. And trust me, you want to know how to tell them apart before you start dating or even thinking about marriage. Your reflection in the mirror will definitely thank you for it.

So, what's the deal with honorable men? Well, they're the real deal. They're the ones who protect you, guard your heart, defend your honor, and champion your well-being in every way – spiritually, mentally, and physically. Choosing an honorable man is choosing a life worth living.

Now, you're not a car, right? So if you run into a guy who treats you like a test drive for his physical desires or plays with your emotions, kindly direct him to a car dealership and say goodbye. 

If a guy pushes for sex and you're not his spouse, he doesn't respect you. Don't become a spoiled, entitled person. Don't expect the wrong person to do the right thing; it's like expecting piranhas not to bite in their waters. If he's not showing love, he's probably not into you. Move on to find real love.

When a man's lost in his own journey, it's time to say goodbye. He should focus on self-discovery, not a relationship.

Oh, and here's a pro tip: Momma's boys? They belong with their moms, not with you. Those umbilical cords? They're not getting cut anytime soon. So, for your own sake, let them trot back to their mommies.

So, keep your standards high, and don't settle for anything less than you deserve. Life is too short to waste on dishonorable dudes, abusive guys, or anyone who doesn't value you. Choose wisely, and true love will find its way to you. Picking dishonorable partners can lead to pain and trouble. Remember, you have a choice.

Now, one last thing – self-love. If you don't have it, take yourself off the market. Seriously, if you don't love yourself, no man can ever truly love you, no matter how great he might be.

5 Red Flags That He's Not Into You

You've been seeing a guy, but something feels off. He's wrapped up in work, seems passive about the relationship, and lacks the enthusiasm you'd expect. Here are five red flags to consider:

1. He's never available.

Whether he claims to be busy or always finds excuses, if he can't make time for you or even a phone call, it's a sign he might not be fully committed.

2. You haven't met his circle.

After dating for a while, not meeting his friends or family could be concerning. If it's been three months without friends and six months without family introductions, it's worth asking why.

3. It's all about sex.

If your interactions seem solely focused on physical intimacy, he might not be interested in you as a person. Consider whether this is the kind of relationship you want.

4. Frequent letdowns.

If he frequently cancels plans without valid reasons, your relationship might not be a top priority for him.

5. Uncertain feelings.

When a guy truly wants to be with you, his actions will reflect it. If you're left guessing or receiving lukewarm reactions, it's possible he's just not that into you.

Remember, trust your instincts and prioritize your well-being in any relationship.

The Dreamer, The Manipulator, and The Idealist

This is a story of The Manipulator, The Dreamer and The Idealist...

As life goes on, and as the situation warrants, the time The Dreamer and The Manipulator have to spend for each other seemed not enough anymore. She sleep and wake up each day with the longing to sleep and wake up each day with him. The feelings of longing and aloneness grew more each day until she became unhappy along the way. The saddest part of it, is when she have to steal her own little happiness where infact, she has The Idealist - nothing to ask and long for. It’s painful and depressing. It's guilt!

Whatever it is, may always be the right love at the wrong time, victim of circumstance or whatever theory maybe applicable, still it hurts. And she just wake up one day she have lost herself in the process. She became selfish, miserable, bitter and unkind to herself. She'd not regret the bliss it brought but surely she’d regret hurting the one person who truly believed in her and who really loves her. And she become bitter, why he allowed her to fall in love with The Manipulator when in truth and in fact their hearts are not free.

The Dreamer has finally awaken, and started walking the right path. And, she gave up on love. Roadblocks. Bumpy. But, she have tried to weather it all despite the numerous times of getting hurt, being wounded. But, she's decided though... Just when she thought, the coast is clear - whirlwind approaches. Turmoil. Disaster. There it was, love gave up on her...

Life is full of reasons and seasons. It started with bliss and ended in misery. The scars would forever linger, haunting her. But the Dremer believed that life tends to balance itself out, moving forward despite the pain. Maybe, after the darkness, the sun would shine again, and she would once more bask in its warmth.

This is a story about the complexities of love, longing, and self-discovery. It follows the journey of "The Dreamer," who found herself entangled with "The Manipulator" while having "The Idealist" by her side. As time passed, The Dreamer's longing for The Manipulator grew, leading to unhappiness and guilt. She realized the pain she caused to The Idealist, the one who truly cared for her.

The story reflects on the idea that love can sometimes come at the wrong time, causing hurt and self-discovery. The Dreamer eventually decides to give up on love and go on a journey of self-improvement and healing. While there are roadblocks and turmoil, the story tells us that life goes on, and there is hope for brighter days ahead.

Ultimately, it conveys the message that sometimes, to find the right path, we must make difficult decisions, even if it means enduring pain and embracing the reality of life's ups and downs.

We don’t have to wait and lose ourself in the process and regret it for the rest of your life. Sometimes, we have to make the most important decision in our lives: that is to stand for what is right even if means embracing all the pain of reality. Life is metamorphosis. Sometimes, we have to die inside to live again. And sometimes, all we have to do is breathe even it hurts even just to breathe...

Undying Quest for THE ONE

With such a vast population, it's highly likely that there is someone out there who is truly meant for each of us.

How many times have we encountered someone who touched our hearts and made us wonder, "Could this be 'The One'?" This phrase often refers to finding that special person who complements us perfectly, someone to share our life's journey with, offering unconditional love, compassion, and understanding. The One is the companion who stands by us through all of life's twists and turns, supporting our decisions as we grow and evolve.

When you meet The One, if you are fortunate enough to do so, you won't need to ask, "Is this The One?" You will simply know.

However, throughout the years, as we change and evolve, so do our personal needs and goals. Finding The One, who truly complements our journey, can be quite a challenge. Sometimes, we may meet someone who fits our current path, but will it endure over time?

Discovering The One is intertwined with finding ourselves, healing, and achieving inner balance. The One represents the union of self, a quest for equilibrium, and a journey toward higher self-esteem. The One is, in essence, our own soul, bridging the barriers of time and space, encompassing both the spiritual and physical realms. It's the quest to understand why we are here and what our life's mission entails.

In our physical reality, many young people spend most of their lives searching for The One. Middle-aged individuals continue their quest, but their objectives change. Older people still seek companionship, where The One becomes less about "passion" and more about "compassion."

The concept of The One encompasses various dimensions of love: the spiritual (a pure consciousness connection), the physical (passion), the romantic (fulfilling our hearts and fantasies), the emotional (meeting our diverse needs), and the mental (growing together and making choices collectively).

Have you ever felt that you've found The One? Or perhaps you found and lost The One? Is there something you need to release related to The One? Have you resigned yourself to the idea that you may never meet The One, and does this thought sadden you? 

If The One doesn't come into your life, are you open to the possibility of settling for someone else? Can you embrace solitude without feeling lonely? Does the idea of being alone frighten you? Are you yearning for romance and passion?

Instead of actively searching for The One, focus on living your life to the fullest, cherishing each moment, and practicing kindness and compassion. 

If The One meant for you is also ready, the two of you will naturally come together through synchronicity, as there is no other way.

Time Understands Love

Once upon a time there was an island where all the feelings lived; Happiness, Sadness, Knowledge, and all the others......, including Love. 

One day it was announced to all of the feelings that the island was going to sink to the bottom of the ocean. So all the feelings prepared their boats to leave. Love was the only one that stayed. She wanted to preserve the island until the last possible moment. 

When the island was almost totally under, Love decided it was time to leave. She began looking for someone to ask for help. Just then Richness was passing by in a grand boat. 

Love asked, "Richness, Can I come with you on your boat?" 

Richness answered, "I'm sorry, but there is a lot of silver and gold on my boat and there would be no room for you." 

Then Love decided to ask Vanity for help who was passing in a beautiful vessel. Love cried out, "Vanity, help me please." 

"I can't help you", Vanity said, "You are all wet and will damage my beautiful boat." 

Next, Love saw Sadness passing by. Love said, "Sadness, please let me go with you." 

Sadness answered, "Love, I'm sorry, but, I just need to be alone now." 

Then, Love saw Happiness. Love cried out, "Happiness, please take me with you." But Happiness was so overjoyed that he didn't hear Love calling to him. 

Love began to cry. Then, she heard a voice say, "Come Love, I will take you with me." It was an elder. Love felt so blessed and overjoyed that she forgot to ask the elder his name. 

When they arrived on land the elder went on his way. Love realized how much she owed the elder. 

Love then found Knowledge and asked, "Who was it that helped me?" 

"It was Time", Knowledge answered. 

"But why did Time help me when no one else would?", Love asked. 

Knowledge smiled and with deep wisdom and sincerity, answered, "Because only Time is capable of understanding how great Love is."

ctto

Freaky Friday the 13th?

Yes, today is Friday the 13th. Sounds funny as I just got off the phone with someone, and we were talking about how freaky, sneaky and how it creates bad luck. Doubtful, I am. Honestly, I have never encountered anything unusual whenever it's Friday the 13th (or maybe not that I'm aware of). 

Friday the 13th occurs when the thirteenth day of a month falls on a Friday, which superstition holds to be a day of bad luck. In the Gregorian calendar, this day occurs at least once, but at most three times a year. Any month's thirteenth day will fall on a Friday if the month starts on a Sunday.

I must say I'm super paranoid. But, never did it occur to me that something bad will happen to me today. People usually say to be extra careful when this day comes as you can't resist bad luck. Some would say accidents happen. Oh well, my thought on that is we should always be careful regardless if it's Friday the 13th or not. We should be responsible of our own actions. If you drink and drive, then most likely you'll end up either in jail, hospital or worse - in coffin.


C'mon! It's still Friday! Let's cheers to that!

Contemplating after the booze

Just had a few drinks with my cousins after a tiring work. Thought it's gonna put me to sleep. But still wide awake at this late hour. Well, I've been a night crawler for years so sleeping at night is not a THING for me. But, I already gave up working graveyard shift for quite sometime now. Not really sure why I'm having difficulty sleeping for the past few months. It's disappointing that when you need to get a shuteye, and you really couldn't. I'm not like this, I swear. I can easily fall asleep if I wanted to. I could hit the sack with no effort. 

A lot of things running in my head. Things that could explode my brains out. So, I found myself blogging. I love to write. Writing has always been my passion. In highschool, I used to write poems, short stories and lyrics. I regret burning my compilation (oh well, talking about why I did that requires another post -which on the second thought, I'd rather not talk about.) I know I still have some lapses when I write but writing is my therapy. It gives me certain relief and satisfaction. 

It would take many pages if I write everything I've been thinking about. For sure, it'll make me up til weekend if I'd do that. With that been said, I'd pick my Top 5 choices. For the sake of fun and entertainment, I thought of Picture game that best describes what I've been thinking. 

I have to tell you this and you need to hear it. I loved you since I met you, but I wouldn't allow myself to truly feel it until today. I was always thinking ahead, making decisions soaked with fear... Today, because of you... what I learned from you; every choice I made was different and my life has completely changed... and I've learned that if you do that, then you're living your life fully... it doesn't matter if you have five minutes or fifty years. If not for today, if not for you I would never have known love at all... So thank you for being the person who taught me to love... and to be love. (movie excerpt) 

Without forgiveness we can’t love. From the perspective of spiritual reality, the statements “I love you but don’t forgive you” and “I forgive you but I don’t love you” are impossibilities. Love and forgiveness go hand in hand. We can’t have one without the other. 

Think of forgiveness as an ongoing process rather than a one-time act. When we have felt deeply hurt, the feeling of forgiveness may come and go for a while. Aim for moments of forgiveness. Trust that eventually these moments will come more frequently and begin to string together until forgiveness is continuous and complete. 

True love is not how you forgive, but how you forget, not what you see but what you feel, not how you listen but how you understand, and not how you let go but how you hold on. True love cannot be found where it does not truly exist, nor can it be hidden where it truly does. Love is magic. The more we hide it, the more it shows; more you suppress it, the more it grows. 

Yawn. This is it! Time to get a shuteye now...

Dear Anonymous

To Anonymous,

Whoever you are, I really appreciate your comment. I know that you only wanted what's best for me. You said you know the truth. I bet you do! And, I never denied anyway... People make mistakes, ALL of us do. I will never ever justify the means. I just hope that you really understood the reason why. I'd love to approve and publish your comment but due to identity reasons, I preferred not to. So, please understand..

Again, thank you so much. Don't you worry, I have strong faith in God. I have learned the hardest way. But, it's worth it! Now, I'm better, wiser and stronger...

Me

2011 Wrap Up

I used to blog highlights every end of the year, so that when I get to read them - it makes me remember the emotions I had. Last year was very challenging. So many things happened that I could barely recall if there are good memories to cherish. It was a year of pains and hardships - betrayal and sadness. Though, I have learned a lot from the experiences I gained from last year.


I'm still positive of the things I had encountered - whether be good or bad, still it shaped and strengthened me.


Highlights:


- Parties, Celebrations attended with Chef... (Reunited bonds with the Guevent peeps - Splash Islands, Poker time; Anj's Bridal Shower at Icon, Intercon Hotel and Wedding at the BlueLeaf.)
- Highschool reunion. Old faces, old friends. Partied, Reminisced the old habits and rekindle old personalities. It's nice to see people you grew up with, and share a part of themselves.
- BOSS time.  Spent much time with my BFFs Eden and Ria over mani-padi. French visited from Davao, and had videoke at RedBox. Sophie's 7th birthday. Rochele got her BBM activated. BOSS get to chit-chat over BBM group.
- Movie dates with his brother,  my baby sister and friend Meg. Endless list. But, at least I get to watch all the movies I want. Saved pennies for DVD copies, as I get to catch almost all the movies in 3D.
- Got my Blackberry Torch. It feels heaven on first touch. At last, it's mine! I've been drooling for since early part of the year, at least I had it mid-year.
- Singapore trip. Darn! I get to see Merlion, Marina Bay, Universal Studios, Sentosa Resorts World, Jurong East, Vivo City, IM Mall, Bugis, Orchard Road, Altitude1. Shopped and spent a lot for pasalubong. Bought my Toshiba portege at Xim Lim. Ate at Makansuntra Gluttons Bay. Still hang out at Starbucks and McDonald's. Have seen old friends like Emjay, Aui, April, Karl and Mark.
- $$$$$$$. It feels great to receive an expected raise for performance evaluation. It just proves to show I'm still effective and efficient. Working from home takes a lot of discipline and patience. I also got bonus incentive every quarter for the whole year of 2011. So, I'm so thankful for the wonderful blessings. Ah well, so many times I got so bored because I used to be in the call center mainstream - and then, I'd always find myself cursing infront of my laptop. It's not that easy to work at home afterall.
- Holiday celebration with my family. It's been a long time since I have shared dinner with my family over Christmas and New Year. My cousins, nephews and nieces from Italy came home for the holiday, and we get to bond over booze.


Reflection:


- Learn to appreciate what you already have as it's painful and regretful once you lost them.
- Do not cover up mistakes by lies. Better to be hurt with truth, than to be comforted with thousand lies.
- Never play fire with fire. Less talk. Less mistakes.
- Accept defeat, and move on. Sometimes, the harder you expect something to happen, the more it's being pushed away. 
- Time will heal all the wounds. Still thankful to realize I'm still capable of being hurt - that means I can love and give as much.
- You can never insist to put back the pieces of a broken mirror. Regardless of the quick fix, it's still broken and it will never be the same again.
- I have made the biggest and dumbest mistake of mylife. But, I'm thankful I learned so much from it.

Now, I'm so ready for 2012. So, bring it on!!! I'm no longer scared to fall down... 'Cause I'm gonna bounce back, and that's for sure!

My FB Status 2011