My One Last Rhapsody

Recently, I've been surrounded with good and happy people which makes it a lot easier to uncarry the burdens. I TOOK THAT first step. And now, it's up to me to stick up with that...

At times, I really wanted to scream and shout to tell everyone that I do not deserve to be treated just like that. I have done nothing wrong. But yes, I preferred to be silent. I stayed calm. Chaos couldn't be taken out by calling out for a war. I somehow realized, there's no need to explain myself. I may please some, but most of them will just believe the unknown. It doesn't matter what has been said, who said it, and to whom it was said... Bottomline is, it hit me so hard! I'm just human! And yes, I really wanted to retaliate, and revenge for that matter. If I did, what does that make me?!

A friend of mine once told me: "We have to be logical at all times." She stressed out a very good point. In all situations, we have to think first before we take appropriate actions. It's being mature! One way or another, if we use our logic then we'll be able to set aside all our emotions and come up with a sound decision.

It took a lot of patience to stay calm. It's in my nature to have a high tolerance for rude people. One day, the truth will come out. For sure, "to you" who's been treating me badly. In time, your own accusations will definitely slap and hit through your own face. Well as for me, I've been awakened... And I have found out the truth that's why I took that first step. It wasn't an easy decision. It took a lot of courage and determination.

I DO NOT BELIEVE IN DESTINY. But, I believe in karmic reaction. If we do good deeds, we'll earn our reward. If we do bad, then we'll pay for it in due time. I have paid my debts, and I learned so much from it.

So now, I'm looking forward for serendipity - "happy accident" or "pleasant surprise"; specifically, the accident of finding something good or useful without looking for it. All of these burdens will be over soon... And when that time comes, it's gonna be worth all the pain.

Butterflies from Heaven

A death in the family leaves a void that cannot be filled. No one can ever take the place of this individual in the world. However, there must be time to mourn the fact that things will never be the same. One minute he was here and now he is gone. The human mind must be allowed to sit with this reality. Mourning is a necessary part of the human experience. If it is ignored, a general feeling of sadness may pervade the whole family.

My eyes filled up with tears as I heard the news

It never occurred to me, how much I could lose 

I find myself wishing that it wasn't real

Every time I think about it, pain is all I can feel

Tears fall from my eyes, I can barely see

But my heart tells me that he'll always be with me

I’m glad he feels no pain now-he lives in a perfect land

I can still feel the soft touch on my shoulder of his loving hand

I lie in bed and cry at night

And I don’t feel any better in the morning light

And I will love and miss him forever

Until the day we are again together.

Together in that perfect place above,

Filled with caring, sharing and love

But until that day comes- I will wipe my tears away.

And hopefully see him again someday

A thousand times we needed you

A thousand times we cried

If love alone could have saved you

you never would have died

A heart of gold stopped beating

two twinkling eyes closed to rest

God broke our hearts to prove he only took the best

never a day goes by that you’re not in my heart and my soul.

We'll miss you MJ! You'll now be with my lil angel... 

Tormenting Feeling

Do you feel guilty about something you did in the past? Do you often think you are a bad person? Do you think you do not deserve to have what you wish? Are you aware of how a feeling of guilt can hurt you and people around you? Do you wish to learn how to let go of this negative feeling that is probably giving you much suffering?

Feeling guilty can be a night mare for some people that have a problem with anxiety or with a similar disorder. It is no wonder that guilt is what keeps a person as a prisoner in anxious state. 

You may wish to get rid of all these thoughts that give you a feeling of guilt but you just simply can't succeed in doing it. This feeling of guilt is coming back to you all the time. Don't try to simply forget about these thoughts that are making you feel guilty, because you will not succeed. You are supposed to accept all thoughts that are giving you pain, and live with them for some time. In time they will perish or won't present a problem for you when you remember about them. 

While feeling guilty can be a cause for you anxiety, it is much more common for guilt to arise when anxiety has already developed. Don't be surprised if you didn't feel guilty till now. When in anxiety state, your feelings can play tricks on you very easily. Your emotions can very easily and quickly respond to every real or assumed guilt that you present in your consciousness, so there is a chance that your thoughts are wondering from one guilt to another, tormenting you and your psyche.

Some sort of Manifestation

Receive "The Promise"

And here is "the verse of hope." After God spent a few verses setting up the background of what the Jews were to do now and how long they would have to do it, He tells them that He has great plans for them.

Simply receive this promise as your own. Yes it was to the Jews thousands of years ago, but these verses set up God's desire for all humanity if they will only do the next step.

I speak of hope... I speak in humility... No time for hatred. All of these burdens will be over soon. 

Breathe.

Inhale.

Exhale.