Primus Amor

As I see him across the street, my heart starts to beat so fast. So fast, that I could almost hear it! How could that be? It's been years we haven't spoken. And it's been years of hatred.

It was summer back then... He's standing infront of our house. Waiting for me to come out. But, I didn't! Why should I? What would I say? How am I suppose to act? I'm only 16. Mom will be really furious if she finds out about John. He needs to leave. Luckily, Lana, my cousin spoke to him. And in split seconds, he left. I knew what she said. We have talked about it so many times. "If he comes here, tell him I'm not home. I'm not around!" 

As I approached him, I was trying so hard not to show emotions. Eventhough, I feel shaky. He's grown so much! C'mon, what the hell?!! Stop! Stop! Inhale. Exhale. I keep on telling myself to act naturally. But, I almost choke when he grasp my arm. Silence. I don't know what to say, neither does he. What else is there to talk about? I'm not even sure why I'm here. Didn't I hate him for years?

"5 years after we graduate from College. I'll marry you! With our titles, sounds nice in our wedding invitation." Out of nowhere he gasps in the midnight sky. Shocked as I am, I didn't utter anything at all. No words to reciprocate as he's waiting for my response. Without a word, he pull me back in his arms. His embrace is so warm. I could almost die... Such a perfect night for a teenage dream. I wish this moment will last forever.

I shook my head. I didn't hear him at all. When I stare back at him, REALITY strikes! "You have no idea what I've been through. You didn't realize what you've done to me after I heard the news. How could you do that to me? I was so young then. You mean everything to me. You were mylife. And you took that away from me?" I found myself screaming in tears.

"You left just like that. Not a word. I searched for you. I called you many times. But they said you're not coming home. In years, I've been trying to keep in touch, yet you said you're happily married. What am I suppose to do? You kept on pushing me away." John spoke softly and gently. 

That's my cue. I stood up from where I sat down, and aggressively wiped my tears. "At least now, we have a closure. I just wanted to understand. I already got my answer. I'll go back to my world, and go back to yours."

They said young love is sweet love. But for me, I guess it's not. Just when I thought, all wounds have been healed by time. There was I, painfully recalled all the heartaches I felt more than a decade ago. It's time for me to let go... Let go of all the broken dreams and promises. 

They say love knows no boundaries. I say it really has. Two people can be together without being inlove - for the sake of emotional security and financial stability. And there goes two people who deeply love each other, but can't be together because of the boundaries set by the norms of society. 

But I'd say Love never ends. It isn't selfish! Not rude. It does not insist in its own way. It rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things and endure all things... Love still exists EVEN ONLY FROM A DISTANCE...

To My Readers - I apologize for the lapses in my writing. This is my first attempt in so many years to come up with a short story. Practice makes perfect. Who knows? In my next entry, it's gonna be superb!!! Share what you think! I'll be glad to hear your comments. --- itsmeellezyh