Yesterday, I Cried

Yesterday, I cried.

I came home, went straight to my room, sat on the edge of my bed, kicked off my shoes, unhooked my bra, and I had myself a good cry.

I'm telling you, I cried until my nose was running all over the silk blouse I got on sale.

I cried until my ears were hot.

I cried until my head was hurting so bad that I could hardly see the pile of soiled tissues lying on the floor at my feet.

I want you to understand, I had myself a really good cry yesterday.

Yesterday, I cried, for all the days that I was too busy, or too tired, or too mad to cry.

I cried for all the days, all the ways, and all the times I had dishonored, disrespected, and disconnected myself from myself, only to have it reflected back to me in the ways others did to me the same things I had already done to myself.

I cried for all the things, I had given, only to have them stolen; for all the things I had asked for that had yet to show up; for all the things I had accomplished, only to give them away, to people in circumstances, which left me feeling empty, and battered and plain old used.

I cried because there were really does come a time when the only thing left for you to do is cry.

Yesterday, I cried.

I cried because little boys get left by their daddies; and little girls get forgotten by their mommies; and daddies don't know what to do, so they leave; and mommies get left, si they get mad.

Yesterday, I cried.

I cried because I hurt. I cried because I was hurt.

I cried because hurt has no place to go except deeper into the pain that caused in the first place, and when it gets there, the hurt wakes you up.

I cried because it was too late. I cried because it was time.

I cried because my soul knew that I didn't know that my soul knew everything I needed to know.

I cried soulful yesterday, and it felt so good.

It felt so very, very bad.

In the midst of my crying, I felt freedom coming,

Because

Yesterday, I cried with an agenda.