Getting to my nerves

Good thing i wasn't able to see that asshole. He's such a silly creature! Dumb ass! Hornbutt!! eeewww... I really hate his guts! I can describe him in one word - "Moron!" It's freaking me out! Eeeerrrrr...

Oh wait.. actually, I can say a lot of things about him...

Liar. Stupid. Asshole. Dumb. Fool. Stubborn. Wretched. Imbecile. Bastard. Shitface. Bullfrog. Irresponsible. Offensive. Jerk. Obtuse. Senseless. Torpid. Dull. Crass. Vexatious, Exasperating. Brutish. Unreasonable. Hick. Insensible. Slugish.

...and it all boils down

"He's obsolete... Nonsense!"

Finally, i vent it out...

Drowned

Once again, I'm drowned...

It was never love.

It was something that i anticipated,

Stupidity!

How can i escape?

He's feeding me

with the sweetness of his venom?

I never refused...

It was an instinct!

Did it make me happy?

Apparently, yes!

Did i regret?

Initially, no!

Again, it was passion!

I knew for a fact,

it was a big mistake!

yet, I embraced it all once again...

Am i selfish?

I guess so...

he was never my life,

though, it was the venom

i longed for...

"See you in a couple of days!"

Again, i'm strayed! I'm totally drowned.. Do i have plans of stopping? I don't have the will to do so...

Quality time

Finally, i saw Sophie (Scott and Eden's baby). She's so healthy and pretty. I met them over at G4 infront of Tater's. Eden and I talked seriously. We cleared out all the biases and confusions we had in the past. Tita (Eden's mom) asked me to go with her in Hongkong this march. Well, it's exciting! That's something i can explore.

I had great time with kermit. We watched Meet the Fockers and went to Music21 after. He was so crazy singing alternative songs like Unwell, Wherever you will go, etc. It was really fun. We went home by 1am.

"mon chanson inoubliable"

I need to get a life. I 'm at work for 12 hours due to work load. Also, I need to be at the office this coming Saturday and Sunday. Bad news is.. i'd be here alone.. yup! all by myself. But, that's what i'd get for being sick for couple of days. Kermit said we'd meet up by saturday after our shifts. I'm so excited. It's been awhile since we were together not to mention that he got mad because i mess up on his birthday.

I Didn't Know I Was Looking For Love

by Everything But The Girl
Album

I was alone thinking I was just fine,
I wasn't looking for anyone to be mine
I thought that love was just a fabrication,
A train that wouldn't stop at my station
Home, alone, that was my consignment,
Solitary, confinement
So when we met, I was getting around you,
I didn't know I was looking for love until I found you.
I didn't know I was looking for love until I found you
I didn't know I was looking for love until I found you
I didn't know I was looking for love
I didn't know I was looking for love
'Cuz there you stood, and I would,
Oh I wonder, could I say how I felt and not be misunderstood?
A thousand stars came into my system,
I never knew how much I have missed them.
Slap, on the lap, of my heart you landed,
I was coy, but you made me candid,
And now the planets circle around you,
I didn't know I was looking for love until I found you.
I didn't know I was looking for love until I found you
I didn't know I was looking for love until I found you
I didn't know I was looking for love
I didn't know I was looking for love
So we build from here with love the foundation
In the world of tears, one conselation
Now you're here and there's a full brass band
Playing in me like a wonderland
But if you left I would be two foot small
And every tear would be a waterfall
Soundless, boundless, I surround you
I didn't know I was looking for love until I found you.
I just didn't know.
I didn't know I was looking for love until I found you
I didn't know I was looking for love until I found you
I didn't know I was looking for love
I didn't know I was looking for love
(repeat to the end)

I wanted to post this song since then but i just forgot to do so... 

Dejavu

There's something in his eyes

There's something in it

I could not explain.

Staring and hiding as he run away

He looked back and caught me by surprise..

He smiled

Geez! Trapped!

Damn! Unspoken!

- my journal (May 22, 1995) -

Huh!!!?! It's happening all over again. Same feeling. Same adrenalin. Same thoughts. Trapped! Caught in between. But, I'm proud.. very proud! Though one thing's for sure, it will remain unspoken... Stupid bitch! *sigh*

21 Things About Me

Get to know me...

1. - I'm socially liberal but very conservative in nature.
2. - A cry baby-super! 
3. - Good listener not a great comforter
4. - Night crawler for about a decade
5. - Superdooper as in mega over hyper individual 
6. - Sweet and bubbly yet bitchy if situation calls for it
7. - Super takaw and loves sweets-
8. - Scared of heights, BLOOD (eeeww..), cockroach and ghosts 
9. - Once a theatre artist 
10. - Singing is part of my everyday routine
11. - Videoke addict 
12. - Frustrated dancer 
13. - Very opinionated and yet a very principled individual
14. - Frustrated chef 
15. - Straightforward so sometimes annoying
16. - Stubborn yet go by the rules 
17. - Movie addict 
18. - Can sleep 16hrs straight 
19. - People oriented 
20. - I don't believe in destiny 
21. - Loud music makes me sleep 

Reminiscing and my curly hair

I supposed to meet up with Eden, Lyra, French and Scott (it's his birthday today) at Redbox. But, I was damn busy with my journal. I read my entries dated 1995... 

I was still in highschool that time. He was such a venom, yet my first love. All the pains and sufferings..I thought, I would end up with him. But, I guess it was never meant to me. I still feel the pain while reading my journal. How could that be? It's been years... We never spoke in years... There was no ending. I just flew away. No need for an explanation. He totally blew it. But how come here am I still thinking of him... Reminiscing what could have been, what might have been. Undying promises... Yet he gave me a tormenting surprise. I guess, nothing will ever beat the sweetness and bitterness of first love.

And reading put me into sleep... crying... and longing... seeking for endless answers. I never deserved to be hurt that way. Why did I have to experience such a traumatic and tormenting past? Still feel blessed knowing I'm still capable to love... But maybe not in the same way I ever was...

Just had my hair curled today. My Mom gave me a 3-in-1 hairstyler. And i really like it! It's a volumizer, straightener and curler in one. It's really cool! So, i don't have to buy each separately. It's very compact! I met up Aian, Jonex and Winnie over at Starbucks. I really couldn't get over my hair being curled so i kept on bragging it to the TQA. But Marcus said it's just wavy! Whatever! It just reminds of Kate Hudson's hair in Almost Famous. Dickie said I just imitate Tina Arena's foxy look. Duh.. people!

It's a very stressful day! I wasn't able to scan because i took over Pam's class on nesting. So, i render floorsupport for the full shift.