A bit of Conundrum

Take risks:  if you win, you will be happy; if you lose, you will be wise.

What if we could turn back the dial. Maybe if not for ourselves, but maybe for someone else. Turn back the dial to a time when laughter was easy, and worries and cares were a million miles away. Turn the dial back to that moment right before the pain began. When innocence was lost. What if.

Sometimes i wonder what if this would have been different with us. What if we didn't live so far? What if we hadn't of lied? What if things have changed? But then I realize that I could be here for days going through all the what if's and just have to face reality.

What if it’s time. To break free. Free. Really free. What if. We could really grasp what that means. Then live it.

Men and Marriage

I just want to share this post from FB. (....from a man's point of view  daw) 

Last week we threw a bachelor party for one of our good friends  and then on Saturday afternoon we stood beside him in our tuxes while he and his fiancee said their vows. As I stood up there looking across the crowd, decided that our next topic on this page would definitely talk about marriage. I also realized that a lot of women may not want to hear the truth about men and marriage because the truth is so simple that they could not accept it without questioning their own  relationship. 

But I am here to tell you - DON'T FOOL YOURSELF,  IT'S  NOT THAT COMPLICATED. 

The sad thing about it is that it took a woman  to bring it to my attention. 

I had a close friend of mine tell me that  she was pursuing a stable man with a girlfriend. When I asked her did she  feel wrong about that she said "Shit, a girlfriend ain't nothin  -girlfriends come and go. If the man is established and he isn't either married or engaged, then he is not that serious about her and he is fair game" 

I thought about this for a minute and came to a cold conclusion: IF A MAN IS STABLE IN LIFE AND HE IS IN A RELATIONSHIP AND NOT MARRIED,  THEN IT IS BECAUSE HE IS NOT SURE ABOUT THE WOMAN THAT HE IS WITH. 

He is not willing to commit to her and constantly has his eye open for something  better or is waiting for her to become something better. Pointblank. When he finds a woman that he is satisfied with, he will make her his wife. 

And ladies, sorry to tell some of you, but it doesn't take 4 or 5  years for that man to figure it out. It doesn't take 2 or 3 years  either. The only reason that a man will get married after that long of  a time is because he's tired of looking for something better. And trust me, that's definitely what he was doing all of those years. 

So if you  should happen to find yourself in one of those "long term" relationships then  maybe you should step back, take a look at yourself and wonder what it is  that you're missing that this man is not willing to fully commit. Don't make  excuses to yourself and your girlfriends saying things like "Oh he's waiting  til he gets a better job" or "he's waiting to finish school" or "he's waiting  until he moves from his apartment to a house". DON'T FOOL YOURSELF, IT'S NOT  THAT COMPLICATED. Which one of those things can't be done with a wife or  fiancee by your side? 

So ladies, when you read this think about your  situation and that man that you are living with. Or the one that you spend  many nights over his house or him over yours. Think about your baby's father  that you are still in a sexual relationship with.  Think about your "ex"  that you are in a sexual relationship with.  Think about your  "boyfriend". And definitely think twice before you brag on a  relationship that's a couple of years long and you still have no  commitment. 

Like I've said before, I'm a man and I know the situation.  I've been there and I know that we can come up with some extremely  reasonable excuses, but.....DON'T FOOL YOURSELF, IT'S NOT THAT  COMPLICATED. :)

Just a cup of coffee

"I hate coffee.." Oh well, believe it or not, I never drink coffee before, not until I worked graveyard shift. What else should keep you up from evening til morning? It's not easy to work at night where everybody else is sleeping, and you're just about to start your day. Working at night, sleeping in the morning.. That's been my life for almost 10 years.

You know what's surprising? I stumbled upon this Greek study, and it turns out that sipping just one cup of coffee a day can actually help lower your blood pressure. Yeah, I was just as shocked as you are!

Now, let's talk about coffee. I mean, everybody seems to be head over heels for Starbucks, Seattle's Best, Coffee Bean, and all that jazz. Me? Well, I didn't really care about coffee until I had my first cup. But here's the kicker – I'm a tad paranoid. I won't touch coffee unless I'm the one who bought it from Starbucks or some legit coffee shop. Call me quirky or a total freak, but I've always had this weird idea that someone might sneak something into my cup – you know, like a potion or poison. If I accept coffee from someone else, it means I trust them, and trust isn't something I hand out like candy. It's just the way I roll!

But here's the real revelation. Coffee made me realize something profound. The cup you drink it from? Yeah, it's just an overpriced container that sometimes hides what's inside. What we're really after is the coffee itself, not the cup it comes in. So why do we all go gaga over fancy cups? We even check out each other's cups, for crying out loud!

Now, think about this. Life? That's your coffee. And those jobs, money, and social status? They're just the cups we use to hold our lives. The cup doesn't change the taste of the coffee, right? Similarly, your job or bank balance doesn't define the quality of your life.

Sometimes, we get so caught up admiring the cup that we forget to savor the coffee inside. So, let's focus on enjoying the coffee, not obsessing over the cups! The happiest people aren't necessarily the ones with the fanciest cups; they're the ones who know how to make the best of what they've got. Keep it simple, spread love generously, care deeply, and talk kindly.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm daydreaming about a mouthwatering coffee jelly... Mmm...

Things Every Woman Must Know About Men

There are two types of guys out there: the honorable men and the dishonorable dudes. And trust me, you want to know how to tell them apart before you start dating or even thinking about marriage. Your reflection in the mirror will definitely thank you for it.

So, what's the deal with honorable men? Well, they're the real deal. They're the ones who protect you, guard your heart, defend your honor, and champion your well-being in every way – spiritually, mentally, and physically. Choosing an honorable man is choosing a life worth living.

Now, you're not a car, right? So if you run into a guy who treats you like a test drive for his physical desires or plays with your emotions, kindly direct him to a car dealership and say goodbye. 

If a guy pushes for sex and you're not his spouse, he doesn't respect you. Don't become a spoiled, entitled person. Don't expect the wrong person to do the right thing; it's like expecting piranhas not to bite in their waters. If he's not showing love, he's probably not into you. Move on to find real love.

When a man's lost in his own journey, it's time to say goodbye. He should focus on self-discovery, not a relationship.

Oh, and here's a pro tip: Momma's boys? They belong with their moms, not with you. Those umbilical cords? They're not getting cut anytime soon. So, for your own sake, let them trot back to their mommies.

So, keep your standards high, and don't settle for anything less than you deserve. Life is too short to waste on dishonorable dudes, abusive guys, or anyone who doesn't value you. Choose wisely, and true love will find its way to you. Picking dishonorable partners can lead to pain and trouble. Remember, you have a choice.

Now, one last thing – self-love. If you don't have it, take yourself off the market. Seriously, if you don't love yourself, no man can ever truly love you, no matter how great he might be.

5 Red Flags That He's Not Into You

You've been seeing a guy, but something feels off. He's wrapped up in work, seems passive about the relationship, and lacks the enthusiasm you'd expect. Here are five red flags to consider:

1. He's never available.

Whether he claims to be busy or always finds excuses, if he can't make time for you or even a phone call, it's a sign he might not be fully committed.

2. You haven't met his circle.

After dating for a while, not meeting his friends or family could be concerning. If it's been three months without friends and six months without family introductions, it's worth asking why.

3. It's all about sex.

If your interactions seem solely focused on physical intimacy, he might not be interested in you as a person. Consider whether this is the kind of relationship you want.

4. Frequent letdowns.

If he frequently cancels plans without valid reasons, your relationship might not be a top priority for him.

5. Uncertain feelings.

When a guy truly wants to be with you, his actions will reflect it. If you're left guessing or receiving lukewarm reactions, it's possible he's just not that into you.

Remember, trust your instincts and prioritize your well-being in any relationship.

The Dreamer, The Manipulator, and The Idealist

This is a story of The Manipulator, The Dreamer and The Idealist...

As life goes on, and as the situation warrants, the time The Dreamer and The Manipulator have to spend for each other seemed not enough anymore. She sleep and wake up each day with the longing to sleep and wake up each day with him. The feelings of longing and aloneness grew more each day until she became unhappy along the way. The saddest part of it, is when she have to steal her own little happiness where infact, she has The Idealist - nothing to ask and long for. It’s painful and depressing. It's guilt!

Whatever it is, may always be the right love at the wrong time, victim of circumstance or whatever theory maybe applicable, still it hurts. And she just wake up one day she have lost herself in the process. She became selfish, miserable, bitter and unkind to herself. She'd not regret the bliss it brought but surely she’d regret hurting the one person who truly believed in her and who really loves her. And she become bitter, why he allowed her to fall in love with The Manipulator when in truth and in fact their hearts are not free.

The Dreamer has finally awaken, and started walking the right path. And, she gave up on love. Roadblocks. Bumpy. But, she have tried to weather it all despite the numerous times of getting hurt, being wounded. But, she's decided though... Just when she thought, the coast is clear - whirlwind approaches. Turmoil. Disaster. There it was, love gave up on her...

Life is full of reasons and seasons. It started with bliss and ended in misery. The scars would forever linger, haunting her. But the Dremer believed that life tends to balance itself out, moving forward despite the pain. Maybe, after the darkness, the sun would shine again, and she would once more bask in its warmth.

This is a story about the complexities of love, longing, and self-discovery. It follows the journey of "The Dreamer," who found herself entangled with "The Manipulator" while having "The Idealist" by her side. As time passed, The Dreamer's longing for The Manipulator grew, leading to unhappiness and guilt. She realized the pain she caused to The Idealist, the one who truly cared for her.

The story reflects on the idea that love can sometimes come at the wrong time, causing hurt and self-discovery. The Dreamer eventually decides to give up on love and go on a journey of self-improvement and healing. While there are roadblocks and turmoil, the story tells us that life goes on, and there is hope for brighter days ahead.

Ultimately, it conveys the message that sometimes, to find the right path, we must make difficult decisions, even if it means enduring pain and embracing the reality of life's ups and downs.

We don’t have to wait and lose ourself in the process and regret it for the rest of your life. Sometimes, we have to make the most important decision in our lives: that is to stand for what is right even if means embracing all the pain of reality. Life is metamorphosis. Sometimes, we have to die inside to live again. And sometimes, all we have to do is breathe even it hurts even just to breathe...

Undying Quest for THE ONE

With such a vast population, it's highly likely that there is someone out there who is truly meant for each of us.

How many times have we encountered someone who touched our hearts and made us wonder, "Could this be 'The One'?" This phrase often refers to finding that special person who complements us perfectly, someone to share our life's journey with, offering unconditional love, compassion, and understanding. The One is the companion who stands by us through all of life's twists and turns, supporting our decisions as we grow and evolve.

When you meet The One, if you are fortunate enough to do so, you won't need to ask, "Is this The One?" You will simply know.

However, throughout the years, as we change and evolve, so do our personal needs and goals. Finding The One, who truly complements our journey, can be quite a challenge. Sometimes, we may meet someone who fits our current path, but will it endure over time?

Discovering The One is intertwined with finding ourselves, healing, and achieving inner balance. The One represents the union of self, a quest for equilibrium, and a journey toward higher self-esteem. The One is, in essence, our own soul, bridging the barriers of time and space, encompassing both the spiritual and physical realms. It's the quest to understand why we are here and what our life's mission entails.

In our physical reality, many young people spend most of their lives searching for The One. Middle-aged individuals continue their quest, but their objectives change. Older people still seek companionship, where The One becomes less about "passion" and more about "compassion."

The concept of The One encompasses various dimensions of love: the spiritual (a pure consciousness connection), the physical (passion), the romantic (fulfilling our hearts and fantasies), the emotional (meeting our diverse needs), and the mental (growing together and making choices collectively).

Have you ever felt that you've found The One? Or perhaps you found and lost The One? Is there something you need to release related to The One? Have you resigned yourself to the idea that you may never meet The One, and does this thought sadden you? 

If The One doesn't come into your life, are you open to the possibility of settling for someone else? Can you embrace solitude without feeling lonely? Does the idea of being alone frighten you? Are you yearning for romance and passion?

Instead of actively searching for The One, focus on living your life to the fullest, cherishing each moment, and practicing kindness and compassion. 

If The One meant for you is also ready, the two of you will naturally come together through synchronicity, as there is no other way.