100 Truths

WHAT WAS YOUR: 
1. last beverage > Water
2. last phone call> Ella 
3. last text message > Ryan
4. last song you listened to > I Choose You by Mario 
5. last time you cried > Months ago


HAVE YOU EVER: 
6. dated someone twice > Yes
7. been cheated on > Yes
8. kissed someone & regretted it > No
9. lost someone special > Yes. It's been a decade  now.
10. been depressed > Yes, most of the times.
11. been drunk and threw up > Been drunk, yes! Threw up? Not these days...


LIST THREE FAVORITE COLORS: 
12. Pink
13. Powder blue
14. Light green


THIS YEAR HAVE YOU: (2012) 
15. Made a new friend > Yes
16. Fallen out of love > YES
17. Laughed until you cried > No.
18. Met someone who changed you > I think so... 
19. Found out who your true friends were > Definitely.
20. Found out someone was talking about you > What's new? Haters are everywhere.
21. Kissed anyone on your friend's list > Yes.
22. How many people on your friends list do you know in real life > Everyone
23. How many kids do you want to have > 1 boy and 1 girl
24. Do you have any pets > No, I'm not a pet lover.
25. Do you want to change your name > Yes, in my next life I want it to be...
26. What did you do for your last birthday > Cried.
27. What time did you wake up today > Past 1pm. Late for work.
28. What were you doing at midnight last night > On the phone and chatting with Niji from evening til morning. Ayieeeeee
29. Name something you CANNOT wait for > Liars to change. Haters to be good or nice to me.
30. Do you have plants > None 
31. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life? > To rewind, pause, fast forward.
32. What are you listening to right now? > I choose you by Mario
33. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom? > No, I don't have a friend by that name as I can remember.
34. What's getting on your nerves right now? > Nothing. I let go of all the things that will make me mad. Laughter is the best medicine.
35. Most visited webpage > Facebook, Paypal, Company system tools
36. What's your real name> SECRET
37. Nicknames? > Kitty way back highschool. ICE in College.
38. Relationship Status > Happily committed
39. Zodiac sign > Pisces
40. Male or female > Female
41. Elementary > NCMLC
42. Middle School > N/A 
43. High school > NCMLC
44. Hair colour? > Medium Copper brown cellophane
45. Long or short? > Long
46. Height? > 5'4
47. Do you have a crush on someone? > So highschool question.
48: What do you like about yourself? > I'm SIMPLY ME. I easily forgive. I easily forget esp if non-sense.
49. Piercing? > No plans.
50. Tattoos? > I'd love to
51. Righty or lefty? > Righty


FIRSTS : 
52. First surgery > A decade ago CS section
53. First piercing > None
54. First best friend > Queenie
55. First sport you joined > No sports at all
56. First vacation > Can't remember. But if out of the country, it's in HK.
58. First pair of trainers > ???


RIGHT NOW 
59. Eating > Just had dinner
60. Drinking > Not as of the moment
61. I'm about to > Issue bonus OT adjustments. 
62. Listening to > Old Friend - Early Rise
63. Waiting on > To get sleepy


YOUR FUTURE : 
64. Want kids? > Of course
65. Get Married > It's complicated
66. Career? > Happy with my career so far.


WHICH IS BETTER : 
67. Lips or eyes > Both
68. Hugs or kisses > Both
69. Shorter or taller > Taller
70. Older or Younger > Same age
71. Romantic or spontaneous > Both
72. Nice butt or nice legs > Nice butt, hahaha
73. Sensitive or loud > Sensitive
74. Hook-up or relationship > Of course, relationship.
75. Trouble maker or hesitant > Hesitant


HAVE YOU EVER : 
76. Kissed a stranger > Hell, no!!!
77. Drank hard liquor > Yes, way way back.
78. Lost glasses/contacts > Yes
79. Sex on first date > NO!!!
80. Broken someone's heart > YES!!!
81. Had your own heart broken > Yes. 
82. Been arrested > No.
83. Turned someone down > Yes, many times.
84. Cried when someone died > Yes. :( 
85. Fallen for a friend? > Yes.


DO YOU BELIEVE IN: 
86. Yourself > Of course, Yes!
87. Miracles > Maybe.
88. Love at first sight > It's crazy. This do not happen. 

89. Heaven >  Yes.
90. Santa Claus > No.
91. Kiss on the first date > Yes.
92. Angels > Yes.


ANSWER TRUTHFULLY: 
94. Had more than 1 girlfriend/boyfriend at a time > Does fling count? 
95. Did you sing today? > Yes.. I sing all the time.
96. Ever cheated on somebody? > oh-oh....huhuhu.... 
97. If you could go back in time, how far would you go? > 10 yrs.
98. If you could pick a day from last year and relive it > March.
99. Are you afraid of falling in love? > I believe I can handle. 
100. Posting this as 100 truths? > Yes definitely!

Yesterday, I Cried

Yesterday, I cried.

I came home, went straight to my room, sat on the edge of my bed, kicked off my shoes, unhooked my bra, and I had myself a good cry.

I'm telling you, I cried until my nose was running all over the silk blouse I got on sale.

I cried until my ears were hot.

I cried until my head was hurting so bad that I could hardly see the pile of soiled tissues lying on the floor at my feet.

I want you to understand, I had myself a really good cry yesterday.

Yesterday, I cried, for all the days that I was too busy, or too tired, or too mad to cry.

I cried for all the days, all the ways, and all the times I had dishonored, disrespected, and disconnected myself from myself, only to have it reflected back to me in the ways others did to me the same things I had already done to myself.

I cried for all the things, I had given, only to have them stolen; for all the things I had asked for that had yet to show up; for all the things I had accomplished, only to give them away, to people in circumstances, which left me feeling empty, and battered and plain old used.

I cried because there were really does come a time when the only thing left for you to do is cry.

Yesterday, I cried.

I cried because little boys get left by their daddies; and little girls get forgotten by their mommies; and daddies don't know what to do, so they leave; and mommies get left, si they get mad.

Yesterday, I cried.

I cried because I hurt. I cried because I was hurt.

I cried because hurt has no place to go except deeper into the pain that caused in the first place, and when it gets there, the hurt wakes you up.

I cried because it was too late. I cried because it was time.

I cried because my soul knew that I didn't know that my soul knew everything I needed to know.

I cried soulful yesterday, and it felt so good.

It felt so very, very bad.

In the midst of my crying, I felt freedom coming,

Because

Yesterday, I cried with an agenda.

Love, Love, Love Hater!!!

Dear Hater, 


How is it that you constantly talk about my flaws non-stop? You try to judge every aspect about me. You monitor my bad habits, and take note of my irregular tendencies.. You blatantly discuss my attitude, scrupulously insult my intelligence and undeniably watch out my every move. You analyze my life - every aspect of it! Put meaning to every blog entry I post. Please... everything is not about "someone else". You know what you failed to realize? It's knowing that you're naive to the fact that You Wanna Be Exactly Like Me! 


Okay, how about you just say you're envious.. Don't lie... Denial is a form of weakness. Infact I admire your diligence checking up on my posts daily where you obtain all the information about me - my thoughts perhaps. I am misunderstood from every perception. I don't debate on my past, or who I will be tomorrow, or play heads heads or tails. This is Who I Am, Who I've Been, and Who I Will Always Be. There's no front. I'm not perfect, Never Have Been, and Never Will Be. I fuck up and accept my imperfections and bounce back. So, while you pointlessly waste your insignificant time hating me.. At the same time you're doin' a great job motivating me. 


Sincerely, 
Me, Myself & I 


P.S. Two Thumbs Up To All My Haters 

After much pondering, I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s because haters secretly love me. There is NO OTHER possible explanation as to why they would hunt me down in such a way AND take the time to read my blog AND take the time to comment on it.  So shocks, I’ll take it as a compliment. I'm so flattered!!!

Peace be with you all!!! Keep up the good work! Again, it motivates me. 

An Open Prayer

On this day in your life, remember this: a decision remains a mere wish until you take that first irreversible step. You might convince yourself that you've already made up your mind, that nothing can deter you, but what happens when taking that step forward feels riskier than taking a step back? 

It's during these moments that you need to stay committed to your path, especially when the going gets tough. Sometimes, the right thing to do is to embrace that irreversible step, the one after which there's no turning back. And right now, it's one of those times.

With these thoughts, I offer a heartfelt prayer:

For My Family: May they walk alongside me in this journey with minimal hardships, for they bear no responsibility for the circumstances that brought us here. They are the reason I strive to better myself, to provide a brighter future for them. God, guide me with unwavering peace and understanding on this path.

For My Haters: I've learned to pray for my adversaries. Not for how they've wronged me, but for their lives, their families, and the challenges they face. I prayed with sincerity, not because I am inherently good, but because God is good, holy, and righteous, and I love Him.

Today, I still wrestle with inner turmoil. Today, I'm reminded that my actions speak louder than my words, teaching those around me what I truly believe. Today, I grapple with that lingering sense of loneliness in the depths of my being. Today, I acknowledge I have much to learn and transform, much in need of the redemptive touch of a Mighty God.

Yet today, I continue to surrender to the One who is a sanctuary. The One who sees the ultimate outcome, no matter how challenging it may be for me, the One I trust wholeheartedly. Today, I persist in praying for my adversaries, as fervently as I know how, recalling the words of Matthew 5:44: "Love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you."

For Me, Myself & I: Strengthen my trust in You, Lord. Enable me to trust myself as I place my trust in You. When things don't unfold as I expect and my efforts seem fruitless, grant me the resilience to persevere with hope, even in the face of past failures. Help me trust in myself as I trust in You, drawing upon Your strength within me to persist and give my best.

Guide me away from doubt and frustration when I falter in discerning and acting in my best interest. Free me from the burden of judging the righteousness of Your plan in my life. Teach me to admit that I don't always know what's best for myself. You've promised to make my crooked paths straight if I place my trust in You in all my ways. Allow me to rely not just on Your promise, but also on the righteousness of trusting in You.

Show me how to embody Your desire for mercy over perfection in my life. Lead me to place my hope in You by trusting in the rightness and goodness of whatever You guide me to do.

Help me celebrate You, not only in the heavens or among the nations, but also within the narrative of my life. Enable me to trust myself as I trust in You, so that I may let go of self-doubt and walk by faith rather than by sight.

Amen.

Perhaps, it's time to open my doors wide, to trust and unveil my soul. It's time to move forward with sincerity, to love and be loved once more.

Living your Dream

As a child, I've so many dreams... And as I grew up, my dreams never changed. Although, there came a point I almost lost track of what I wanted to become...

Things happened unexpectedly way back which made me decide to gave up that dream or should I say those dreams. Lately, during my me-time I realized that it's not too late to pursue 'em. It's never too late! 

I always wanted to be a lawyer. I found it very admirable to litigate. No wonder, I enjoy debate and heated arguments a lot, but of course, just those decent and civil ones. Recently, an eye-opener lead me to rekindle that dream. I'm seriously considering of going back to school. This time, pursue law proper taking up the Executive classes. Since enrollment is already over, I'd try next semester if it will fit my schedule, and finances of course.

I always wanted to travel. But given the fact my family couldn't afford my whims, it took years before I could finally travel outside the country. Of course, that's the time when I have enough to spend. I definitely work and work to spend it for travel. 

Don't get me wrong, I really love shopping! it's a therapy for me. But, travelling - it's a different feeling of satisfaction. Unexplainable. It was an ode to myself to travel every year since 2010. This year, I'm chasing Asia again...

I really admire people who speak and write different languages. My goal before the end of this year is to learn French and Japanese, if not Korean. I always have passion to learn new and acquire new things. Thanks to Podcast, this dream of mine is no longer impossible as there are readily available audiobooks for these language courses.

I never had sports when I was still young. Maybe because I focused too much in my studies and extra curricular activities (public speaking per se). So, I never had the chance to play any sports. I'll be good at least one sport by the end of this year, either badminton or target shooting. I'll still decide.. Or maybe, swimming since up to this age, I don't know how to swim. Sounds crazy, but true!

I really love music. Infact, singing is part of my everyday routine (esp when I'm bored). But, I found it odd why I no longer strum guitars, nor play piano. I learned these before. But because I didn't practice well, I ended up forgetting how-to. So with that, I'd definitely buy a guitar. Learning how-to is no longer a problem. It's going to be an easy task, with the help of my music instructor.  Yey! ☺☺☺

We may lost some of our dreams. But deep within our hearts, part of it still remains. Never stop chasing that dream! Let's enjoy life while we're young, while we're still breathing... 

Understanding the 5 Stages of Grief

Grief doesn't come with a manual, and it's not about neatly packaging messy emotions. 

It's a highly individual response to loss, and these stages serve as a framework to understand and identify what you might be feeling. They don't follow a linear timeline, and not everyone experiences all of them or in a specific order.

Denial

This initial stage helps us cope with overwhelming loss. We might feel numb, wondering how to move forward. It's a natural response that paces our grief, allowing us to absorb only what we can handle.

As you come to terms with the reality of the loss and begin to question it, you unknowingly initiate the healing process. Your inner strength grows, and the veil of denial starts to lift. However, as you move forward, all the emotions you once suppressed gradually resurface.

Anger

Grief often masks itself as anger. We're more accustomed to managing anger, but underneath it lie many other emotions. Anger can be directed at various targets, even at God. It's a bridge, connecting us to our emotions and offering some structure amid the chaos of loss.

Beneath anger lies your pain, a natural response to feeling deserted and abandoned. Unfortunately, our society often discourages the expression of anger. However, anger can also be a source of strength, offering a temporary anchor amidst the void of loss. Initially, grief may feel like being adrift at sea, disconnected from everything. 

But then, anger may be directed at someone—perhaps someone who didn't attend the funeral, someone absent, or someone who has changed since your loved one's passing. This anger becomes a framework, a link connecting you to them. It provides something to grasp onto, and even an anger-forged connection feels better than utter emptiness. Typically, we're more accustomed to suppressing anger than embracing it, but this anger is a testament to the depth of your love.

Bargaining

Before a loss, we might make deals with the universe, hoping to prevent it. Afterward, we find ourselves lost in a maze of "If only..." and "What if..." scenarios. Guilt often accompanies bargaining, as we blame ourselves for not doing more. We may even try to bargain with the pain itself.

We find ourselves entangled in a labyrinth of "If only..." and "What if..." scenarios. We long for life to return to its former state, to have our loved one back. We yearn to rewind time: discover the illness earlier, prevent the accident—if only, if only, if only. Guilt often accompanies these bargaining thoughts. The "if onlys" lead us to scrutinize ourselves, pondering what we could have done differently.

In our desperation to evade the pain of loss, we dwell in the past, attempting to negotiate a way out of the heartache. People often perceive these stages as lasting weeks or months, yet they forget that they are responses to fleeting feelings, moments that can stretch from minutes to hours as we oscillate between them. These stages aren't experienced in a linear progression; we may cycle through one, then another, and even return to the initial stage as we navigate our grief journey.

Depression

This stage delves deeper into the present, bringing emptiness and sadness. It's a profound sadness that may feel endless. It's essential to understand that depression in grief is not a sign of mental illness but a natural response to significant loss.

During this phase, we may withdraw from life, enveloped in a dense cloud of profound sadness. We may question the purpose of carrying on alone, wondering why we should go on at all. Unfortunately, depression following a loss is often misconstrued as unnatural, something to be fixed or shaken off. It's essential to begin by considering whether the circumstances genuinely warrant a depressive response.

The loss of a loved one is, in itself, an inherently saddening situation, and depression serves as a normal and appropriate reaction. In fact, not experiencing depression after the death of a loved one would be an uncommon response. When the full weight of the loss settles in our souls, and we come to terms with the fact that our loved one won't recover and won't return, it's only natural to experience this level of depression. If grief is a path toward healing, then depression is a vital step along that journey.

Acceptance

Often misunderstood, acceptance doesn't mean being okay with the loss. It's about acknowledging that our loved one is gone, and this new reality is permanent. We'll never like it or make it okay, but we learn to live with it. It's the recognition that life has changed irreversibly.

Finding acceptance may be just having more good days than bad ones. As we begin to live again and enjoy our life, we often feel that in doing so, we are betraying our loved one. We can never replace what has been lost, but we can make new connections, new meaningful relationships, new inter-dependencies. Instead of denying our feelings, we listen to our needs; we move, we change, we grow, we evolve. We may start to reach out to others and become involved in their lives. We invest in our friendships and in our relationship with ourselves. We begin to live again, but we cannot do so until we have given grief its time.


Get help.  You will be better. Even if believing it seems impossible right now—just trust that it's true. Experiencing pain following a loss is a perfectly normal aspect of our humanity. It reaffirms our existence. However, we must not halt our lives. Instead, we must grow stronger while preserving our capacity to feel, all in the pursuit of eventual healing, love, and happiness.

One remarkable way to aid our healing process and transform tragedy into something positive is by assisting others who are navigating experiences we've endured. You will survive. You heal.

Sweetness

Can't thank you enough for making me smile. You know who you are!!! I appreciate the effort playing this with your guitar. More to come... Check out my list:

• Secrets - One Republic
• Chasing Cars - Snow Patrol
• Say it Again - Marie Digby
• Decode - Paramore
• Thinking of You - Katy Pary
• A Thousand Years - Taylor Swift
• Back To December - Taylor Swift
• Unwell - Matchbox 20
• Counting Blue Cars - Dishwalla
• Runaway - Bruno Mars
• Old Friend - Early Rise (Thanks for the influence)
• Payphone - Maroon 5
• I Need You - LeAnn Rhimes
• Stereohearts - Gym Class Heroes
• Breakeven - One Republic
• California King Bed - Rihanna
• You Da One - Rihanna
• Torn - Natalie Imbruglia
• Cool With You - Jennifer Love Hewitt
• Just The Way You Are - Bruno Mars

Loser strikes back

People respond to situations differently. Some call out war. While some kept silent. And, that was the path I've chosen. I remained silent despite all the accusations. Long-time feud caused by enviousness and jealousy has put to an end. It doesn't matter what has been said, who said it and to whom it was said. Truth of the matter is, such a feeling of relief exists.

Happiness. As per Wiki, it is a mental or emotional state of well-being characterized by positive or pleasant emotions ranging from contentment to intense joy. 

Just when I thought it's already over, then I received new comment now. But of course I won't approve it. Why should I? This is my space, and I deserve to whether approve or reject comments. In all fairness, it really made me laugh. Very poor rebuttal, weak points. Whoever you are, I'd like to stress out few points:

1. Stop meddling as you are not involved. You have no right to comment or react as you do not personally know me. And I don't have time to get to know you. Such a waste of time.

2. You are a LOSER! Leaving comments just like that without representing yourself makes me want to laugh at you more and more. Who do you think you are?

3. ISSUE RESOLVED. Just for the record, you have already mistreated, convicted me without due process. And, last Saturday was just a proof that all doubts and prejudices were cleared up. So, stop bad mouthing! You do not matter to me!

4. Having a pretty face with no wits and brains is useless, especially if your hobby is ranting and whining. Personality counts. Better think twice before you comment in my blog. Again, this is my space. You have no right.

5. RESPECT. You're just viewing and reading my blog. I thank you for taking time to read my posts. It just shows how interested you are about me, myself and I. Thank you for supporting my blog. 

6. YOU'RE STUPID!!! I challenge you to tell who you are! I dare you, and I'll approve it! Prove you're worthy. Otherwise, you're such a low-rate-pathetic-loser who just eavesdrops on me. But still, thank you for being A FAN!!!

Go back to the jungle where you truly belong! I just gave you credit for featuring you here in my blog. I'm really laughing my heart out. Thanks for giving me enormous laugh today. Your rants really made my day... Climate already changed. It's rainy days now... So, better start moving on. Stop being pathetic!!!

Smile

Thank you for making me smile...

You're better then the best
I'm lucky just to linger in your light
Cooler than the flip side
Of my pillow, that's right

Completely unaware
Nothing can compare to where
You send me, lets me know that it's okay
Yeah, it's okay
And the moments where my good times start to fade

You make me smile like the sun, fall out of bed
Sing like bird, dizzy in my head
Spin like a record, crazy on a Sunday night

You make me dance like a fool, forget how to breathe
Shine like gold, buzz like a bee
Just the thought of you can drive me wild
Oh, you make me smile

Even when you're gone,
Somehow you come along just like
A flower pokin' through the sidewalk crack
And just like that
You steal away the rain, and just like that

You make me smile like the sun, fall out of bed
Sing like bird, dizzy in my head
Spin like a record, crazy on a Sunday night

You make me dance like a fool, forget how to breathe
Shine like gold, buzz like a bee
Just the thought of you can drive me wild
Oh, you make me smile

Don't know how I lived without you
'Cause every time that I get around you
I see the best of me inside your eyes
You make me smile

You make me dance like a fool, forget how to breathe
Shine like gold, buzz like a bee
Just the thought of you can drive me wild

You make me smile like the sun, fall out of bed
Sing like bird, dizzy in my head
Spin like a record, crazy on a Sunday night

You make me dance like a fool, forget how to breathe
Shine like gold, buzz like a bee
Just the thought of you can drive me wild
Oh, you make me smile
(Oh, you make me smile)
Oh, you make me smile
(Oh, you make me smile)
Oh, you make me smile

Primus Amor

As I see him across the street, my heart starts to beat so fast. So fast, that I could almost hear it! How could that be? It's been years we haven't spoken. And it's been years of hatred.

It was summer back then... He's standing infront of our house. Waiting for me to come out. But, I didn't! Why should I? What would I say? How am I suppose to act? I'm only 16. Mom will be really furious if she finds out about John. He needs to leave. Luckily, Lana, my cousin spoke to him. And in split seconds, he left. I knew what she said. We have talked about it so many times. "If he comes here, tell him I'm not home. I'm not around!" 

As I approached him, I was trying so hard not to show emotions. Eventhough, I feel shaky. He's grown so much! C'mon, what the hell?!! Stop! Stop! Inhale. Exhale. I keep on telling myself to act naturally. But, I almost choke when he grasp my arm. Silence. I don't know what to say, neither does he. What else is there to talk about? I'm not even sure why I'm here. Didn't I hate him for years?

"5 years after we graduate from College. I'll marry you! With our titles, sounds nice in our wedding invitation." Out of nowhere he gasps in the midnight sky. Shocked as I am, I didn't utter anything at all. No words to reciprocate as he's waiting for my response. Without a word, he pull me back in his arms. His embrace is so warm. I could almost die... Such a perfect night for a teenage dream. I wish this moment will last forever.

I shook my head. I didn't hear him at all. When I stare back at him, REALITY strikes! "You have no idea what I've been through. You didn't realize what you've done to me after I heard the news. How could you do that to me? I was so young then. You mean everything to me. You were mylife. And you took that away from me?" I found myself screaming in tears.

"You left just like that. Not a word. I searched for you. I called you many times. But they said you're not coming home. In years, I've been trying to keep in touch, yet you said you're happily married. What am I suppose to do? You kept on pushing me away." John spoke softly and gently. 

That's my cue. I stood up from where I sat down, and aggressively wiped my tears. "At least now, we have a closure. I just wanted to understand. I already got my answer. I'll go back to my world, and go back to yours."

They said young love is sweet love. But for me, I guess it's not. Just when I thought, all wounds have been healed by time. There was I, painfully recalled all the heartaches I felt more than a decade ago. It's time for me to let go... Let go of all the broken dreams and promises. 

They say love knows no boundaries. I say it really has. Two people can be together without being inlove - for the sake of emotional security and financial stability. And there goes two people who deeply love each other, but can't be together because of the boundaries set by the norms of society. 

But I'd say Love never ends. It isn't selfish! Not rude. It does not insist in its own way. It rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things and endure all things... Love still exists EVEN ONLY FROM A DISTANCE...

To My Readers - I apologize for the lapses in my writing. This is my first attempt in so many years to come up with a short story. Practice makes perfect. Who knows? In my next entry, it's gonna be superb!!! Share what you think! I'll be glad to hear your comments. --- itsmeellezyh

Wake up, Princess!

Love. Very strong word. Though not just a mere word, it's indeed an "action" word. You don't just say I LOVE YOU for some b*llsh*t reason, or say it because you're fond of saying it. Imagine yourself being introduced to someone, and the person says I Love You on your first date. What would you say? What would you feel? Would you believe it? 

Damn! It will scare the hell out of me, seriously! Scary, isn't it?! There is no such thing as love as first sight. That's crap! Whoever invented that phrase overly sensationalized the "thought." It's just a pigment of one's imagination. There's always a period of getting-to-know-you stage before you can finally realize you're falling for someone. Yes, there maybe an attraction at the first glance. But, love?! Hell, no!!! 

Ladies, be very careful! A guy may even promise to give you heaven and earth. Do yourself a favor! Do not fall for that trap! He only wants to get into your pants. Seek for a man who respects you, and will not promise anything and everything to please you. Men master the art of pretenses. 

When I say men, it only pertain to chauvinistic, pimps, players, thugs, ballers and shot callers. An honorable man protects you and your feelings, but not play with it. An honorable man will never lie to you regardless if it's a white-lie. If he did it once, and you let it pass then don't expect he's going to change for you. Because he will never be. 

Drop that idea that if you play a martyr (girlfriend or wife) would mean he'll realize that, and change for you. Change comes from within. As long as you're allowing him to treat you that way, you're permitting him to torture you emotionally. Certainly, you'll end up crying. DO NOT EVER COMPLAIN ON WHAT YOU PERMIT! 

Choosing to be fooled by this type of a guy won't get you anywhere, just in bed or in despair.

Ladies tend to cling on to a relationship not because they've been fooled. I don't believe that! 

We know exactly if someone's fooling us, or lying to us for that matter. Ladies have a strong gut-feel. It's innate! But, you want to know the truth?! We just make our self believe that he is faithful, and he loves you. Truth of the matter is, he's not! Alright, you caught him once cheating on you, and he denied. But, you know exactly he did. You'd rather believe he didn't cheat on you, than admit he did. One way or another, you're just creating a monster out of him. 

Do not be a masochist!!! You're beautiful who deserves respect and right kind of love... Time to wake up from long sleep, Princess! Your real and true Prince Charming awaits you. Do not look for love, it will soon find you!

Love is not being insistent. Love is not an obligation. Love is not a responsibility. It is not selfish and possessive. Love shows respect and trust. Accept for who you are, and whom you are not. Love doesn't tolerate wrong-doings. It helps you to become a better person. It doesn't cheat, lie or humiliate you. But, that's selfishness and ego!

The Link

Professor : You are a Christian, aren’t you, son ?

Student : Yes, sir.

Professor: So, you believe in GOD ?

Student : Absolutely, sir.

Professor : Is GOD good ?

Student : Sure.

Professor: Is GOD all powerful ?

Student : Yes.

Professor: My brother died of cancer even though he prayed to GOD to heal him. Most of us would attempt to help others who are ill. But GOD didn’t. How is this GOD good then? Hmm?

(Student was silent.)

Professor: You can’t answer, can you ? Let’s start again, young fella. Is GOD good?

Student : Yes.

Professor: Is satan good ?

Student : No.

Professor: Where does satan come from ?

Student : From … GOD …

Professor: That’s right. Tell me son, is there evil in this world?

Student : Yes.

Professor: Evil is everywhere, isn’t it ? And GOD did make everything. Correct?

Student : Yes.

Professor: So who created evil ?

(Student did not answer.)

Professor: Is there sickness? Immorality? Hatred? Ugliness? All these terrible things exist in the world, don’t they?

Student : Yes, sir.

Professor: So, who created them ?

(Student had no answer.)

Professor: Science says you have 5 Senses you use to identify and observe the world around you. Tell me, son, have you ever seen GOD?

Student : No, sir.

Professor: Tell us if you have ever heard your GOD?

Student : No , sir.

Professor: Have you ever felt your GOD, tasted your GOD, smelt your GOD? Have you ever had any sensory perception of GOD for that matter?

Student : No, sir. I’m afraid I haven’t.

Professor: Yet you still believe in Him?

Student : Yes.

Professor : According to Empirical, Testable, Demonstrable Protocol, Science says your GOD doesn’t exist. What do you say to that, son?

Student : Nothing. I only have my faith.

Professor: Yes, faith. And that is the problem Science has.

Student : Professor, is there such a thing as heat?

Professor: Yes.

Student : And is there such a thing as cold?

Professor: Yes.

Student : No, sir. There isn’t.

(The lecture theater became very quiet with this turn of events.)

Student : Sir, you can have lots of heat, even more heat, superheat, mega heat, white heat, a little heat or no heat. But we don’t have anything called cold. We can hit 458 degrees below zero which is no heat, but we can’t go any further after that. There is no such thing as cold. Cold is only a word we use to describe the absence of heat. We cannot measure cold. Heat is energy. Cold is not the opposite of heat, sir, just the absence of it.

(There was pin-drop silence in the lecture theater.)

Student : What about darkness, Professor? Is there such a thing as darkness?

Professor: Yes. What is night if there isn’t darkness?

Student : You’re wrong again, sir. Darkness is the absence of something. You can have low light, normal light, bright light, flashing light. But if you have no light constantly, you have nothing and its called darkness, isn’t it? In reality, darkness isn’t. If it is, well you would be able to make darkness darker, wouldn’t you?

Professor: So what is the point you are making, young man ?

Student : Sir, my point is your philosophical premise is flawed.

Professor: Flawed ? Can you explain how?

Student : Sir, you are working on the premise of duality. You argue there is life and then there is death, a good GOD and a bad GOD. You are viewing the concept of GOD as something finite, something we can measure. Sir, Science can’t even explain a thought. It uses electricity and magnetism, but has never seen, much less fully understood either one. To view death as the opposite of life is to be ignorant of the fact that death cannot exist as a substantive thing.

Death is not the opposite of life: just the absence of it. Now tell me, Professor, do you teach your students that they evolved from a monkey?

Professor: If you are referring to the natural evolutionary process, yes, of course, I do.

Student : Have you ever observed evolution with your own eyes, sir?

(The Professor shook his head with a smile, beginning to realize where the argument was going.)

Student : Since no one has ever observed the process of evolution at work and cannot even prove that this process is an on-going endeavor. Are you not teaching your opinion, sir? Are you not a scientist but a preacher?

(The class was in uproar.)

Student : Is there anyone in the class who has ever seen the Professor’s brain?

(The class broke out into laughter. )

Student : Is there anyone here who has ever heard the Professor’s brain, felt it, touched or smelt it? No one appears to have done so. So, according to the established Rules of Empirical, Stable, Demonstrable Protocol, Science says that you have no brain, sir. With all due respect, sir, how do we then trust your lectures, sir?

(The room was silent. The Professor stared at the student, his face unfathomable.)

Professor: I guess you’ll have to take them on faith, son.

Student : That is it sir … Exactly ! The link between man & GOD is FAITH. That is all that keeps things alive and moving.

P.S.

I believe you have enjoyed the conversation. And if so, you’ll probably want your friends / colleagues to enjoy the same, won’t you?

Forward this to increase their knowledge … or FAITH.

By the way, that student was EINSTEIN.

What are you? A f*ckin' bird!!!

Like an ostrich with its head in the sand. You who have been trying to remain blissfully ignorant of a situation. But hiding from it won't make it go away. 


Just because you pretend you don't have a problem doesn't mean you don't have a problem. But the good news is that "the problem" you have isn't really a problem at all, but an opportunity. Once you start exploring your options for dealing with it, the situation will open a door to something wonderful and unanticipated.


Now, think!!!

My One Last Rhapsody

Recently, I've been surrounded with good and happy people which makes it a lot easier to uncarry the burdens. I TOOK THAT first step. And now, it's up to me to stick up with that...

At times, I really wanted to scream and shout to tell everyone that I do not deserve to be treated just like that. I have done nothing wrong. But yes, I preferred to be silent. I stayed calm. Chaos couldn't be taken out by calling out for a war. I somehow realized, there's no need to explain myself. I may please some, but most of them will just believe the unknown. It doesn't matter what has been said, who said it, and to whom it was said... Bottomline is, it hit me so hard! I'm just human! And yes, I really wanted to retaliate, and revenge for that matter. If I did, what does that make me?!

A friend of mine once told me: "We have to be logical at all times." She stressed out a very good point. In all situations, we have to think first before we take appropriate actions. It's being mature! One way or another, if we use our logic then we'll be able to set aside all our emotions and come up with a sound decision.

It took a lot of patience to stay calm. It's in my nature to have a high tolerance for rude people. One day, the truth will come out. For sure, "to you" who's been treating me badly. In time, your own accusations will definitely slap and hit through your own face. Well as for me, I've been awakened... And I have found out the truth that's why I took that first step. It wasn't an easy decision. It took a lot of courage and determination.

I DO NOT BELIEVE IN DESTINY. But, I believe in karmic reaction. If we do good deeds, we'll earn our reward. If we do bad, then we'll pay for it in due time. I have paid my debts, and I learned so much from it.

So now, I'm looking forward for serendipity - "happy accident" or "pleasant surprise"; specifically, the accident of finding something good or useful without looking for it. All of these burdens will be over soon... And when that time comes, it's gonna be worth all the pain.

Butterflies from Heaven

A death in the family leaves a void that cannot be filled. No one can ever take the place of this individual in the world. However, there must be time to mourn the fact that things will never be the same. One minute he was here and now he is gone. The human mind must be allowed to sit with this reality. Mourning is a necessary part of the human experience. If it is ignored, a general feeling of sadness may pervade the whole family.

My eyes filled up with tears as I heard the news

It never occurred to me, how much I could lose 

I find myself wishing that it wasn't real

Every time I think about it, pain is all I can feel

Tears fall from my eyes, I can barely see

But my heart tells me that he'll always be with me

I’m glad he feels no pain now-he lives in a perfect land

I can still feel the soft touch on my shoulder of his loving hand

I lie in bed and cry at night

And I don’t feel any better in the morning light

And I will love and miss him forever

Until the day we are again together.

Together in that perfect place above,

Filled with caring, sharing and love

But until that day comes- I will wipe my tears away.

And hopefully see him again someday

A thousand times we needed you

A thousand times we cried

If love alone could have saved you

you never would have died

A heart of gold stopped beating

two twinkling eyes closed to rest

God broke our hearts to prove he only took the best

never a day goes by that you’re not in my heart and my soul.

We'll miss you MJ! You'll now be with my lil angel... 

Tormenting Feeling

Do you feel guilty about something you did in the past? Do you often think you are a bad person? Do you think you do not deserve to have what you wish? Are you aware of how a feeling of guilt can hurt you and people around you? Do you wish to learn how to let go of this negative feeling that is probably giving you much suffering?

Feeling guilty can be a night mare for some people that have a problem with anxiety or with a similar disorder. It is no wonder that guilt is what keeps a person as a prisoner in anxious state. 

You may wish to get rid of all these thoughts that give you a feeling of guilt but you just simply can't succeed in doing it. This feeling of guilt is coming back to you all the time. Don't try to simply forget about these thoughts that are making you feel guilty, because you will not succeed. You are supposed to accept all thoughts that are giving you pain, and live with them for some time. In time they will perish or won't present a problem for you when you remember about them. 

While feeling guilty can be a cause for you anxiety, it is much more common for guilt to arise when anxiety has already developed. Don't be surprised if you didn't feel guilty till now. When in anxiety state, your feelings can play tricks on you very easily. Your emotions can very easily and quickly respond to every real or assumed guilt that you present in your consciousness, so there is a chance that your thoughts are wondering from one guilt to another, tormenting you and your psyche.

Some sort of Manifestation

Receive "The Promise"

And here is "the verse of hope." After God spent a few verses setting up the background of what the Jews were to do now and how long they would have to do it, He tells them that He has great plans for them.

Simply receive this promise as your own. Yes it was to the Jews thousands of years ago, but these verses set up God's desire for all humanity if they will only do the next step.

I speak of hope... I speak in humility... No time for hatred. All of these burdens will be over soon. 

Breathe.

Inhale.

Exhale.

It's so good to be back!

Okay, so I'm back! 

I just realized that there's no need for me to be quiet despite all malicious accusations. I can't just sit here, and do nothing while you ruin my reputation. I tried to be silent because I'm not used to public squabble. I was raised well, and I wouldn't want to retaliate. Why? Because I'm far better than that... If I did, it's stooping down to your pathetic level.  It's just now that it hit me, jealousy leads to insecurity. I have nothing to do with you, hater! You do not matter to me at all!

So continue hating me! I do not care if you don't like me. The feeling is mutual, I do not care about you at all. Keep sending me rude comments until you get tired of your pathetic acts! 

Enjoy reading!

Waking up from a Nightmare

Have you ever been in a lucid dream, which quickly transforms into a nightmare? Even when you are aware that you are dreaming, sometimes it is at such a low level that you can't manipulate what is happening. Most people have had dreams like this, but if they happen too often, here's how to wake up. 

(Source: Wiki)

Try to realize that you are in fact dreaming. It is much harder to wake up if you think this is all really happening to you. Try to point out things that are happening that cannot possibly happen in real life, or things that just don't feel right. In fact, you can have a lucid dream if this happens, you could even change a nightmare to a good dream this way, try doing things you have always wanted to do, there will be no consequence in your dream. Sometimes even if you realize that you are dreaming it will be hard to wake up, and I do not recommend flapping your arms around to do so, as you'll likely end up in a strange, half-dream state flapping around in bed scaring people.

Attempt to manipulate your nightmare away. Some people are better at this than others, and it's okay if you find it hard. It takes a lot of practice to fully master this skill. Once you have realized you are in a dream, you can change things that are happening, and make the scary events leave the nightmare. This is better than fully waking yourself up if you still want to continue sleeping, or if you liked the dream you were having. Keep thinking of what you want to happen. If you were having a nightmare where you were watching your puppy be killed, keep saying to yourself, "My dog will beat up the killer, and run into my arms". This should happen immediately without repetition if you think it hard enough.

Wake up if you cannot change the dream. If you are having a nightmare where you are in a house that's on fire, and you can't put the fire out, it's time to leave. You should notice that when you yell for help in your dream, it's more of a faint whisper that does not make a sound. This is because your mouth isn't open in real life. You aren't actually activating your vocal chords or using air, so no sound is actually coming out. Think to yourself, 'I'm going to actually call for help'. Some people get the sensation of their brain responding with a no. Continue telling your brain that you will in fact call out for help until the sensation goes away. This is usually the second or third time. Then, say something. You will notice that it seems harder than usual, and that's because you are actually using your vocal chords. This time, a noise should come out, and you should wake up, realizing that it was all a dream.

Try to wake up again. If you still can't wake up, and that fire is coming closer and closer, it's time for Plan B. Have you ever noticed that you don't blink in your dreams? It's simple: try to blink. This is pretty easy, and comes in handy if you are having a really scary nightmare. In the dream, your eyes should close, then when you open them, they will be open in real life. You will probably be awake by then. If it doesn't work the first time, shut your eyes closed, hold them there for a few seconds, then slowly open them.

Try jolting yourself. in your dream, shake yourself so much that it has an effect on you in real life. When you are going to sleep and you have nightmares often, sleep in a position that's easy to 'kick' your legs, in the dream, really kick your legs in the dream which would hopefully wake you up.

The Way of Love

1If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. 2And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. 3If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned,a but have not love, I gain nothing.

4Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant 5or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful;b 6it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. 7Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

8Love never ends. As for prophecies, they will pass away; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away. 9For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10but when the perfect comes, the partial will pass away. 11When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I gave up childish ways. 12For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I have been fully known.

13So now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love.