One hell of an asshole

Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! I really hate what i'm feeling right now. I want to blurt it out.. yet, i know it will add up insult to injury... You really can't please everybody. It keeps on coming back like a flash in a speed of light. I'm shaking like hell! What would i get if i give an agent a 0%? Will that give me an increase? Will that give promotion? As a matter of fact, that would affect my performance as well. As to how well i provide coaching or am i being effective? But then again, it hit me hard so fast and before i knew it, i'm caught off guard. 

Bullsh*t!!! I thought the issue was already resolved. It's been a month now. For all i know, that agent moved to VXI. However, she advised her TM that she's fuckin sick because of that evaluation i gave her. Yes, that stupid moron filed a Leave of Absence. See?! She's fuckin' crazy, dude! She was so damn brave to terminate that call and now she wanted to tell everybody it's my fault why she's suffering from quagmire... She's insisting that she never had released that fuckin' call. yeah ryt! Tell that to the marines. Everything was captured by NICE. It's her word against NICE!!! Apparently, i saw her father walking on by the corridors of 8th floor. I smiled at him. Yet, he gave me that freakin' look on his face. As if i killed her daughter? Goodness sake!!! They're possessed!!!

There you go... i just said it all... It ruined my day. I tried to be not affected but, it's still ruining my day. During my coaching session, one of my agents asked me if i'm ok. I asked him why. Then he said, it's because i'm not smiling. Almost messed up everything... coaching... positive scripting.. post shift meeting with my team.

I believe in the law of karma coz it kicks so fast... Better run, asshole!! I pity you!!!

my only consolation

I was kinda harassed today because of the work load. Yet, at the end of the day, it feels good to realize that i was able to accomplish my checklist. Getting a positive feedback from my Boss. Inspiring people to beat me... Sounds that i'm starting to be conceited again! hehehe.. 

I was expecting a call from kermit. But, it's been 3 days since the last time we talk. I guess, he's still mad. Just slept when we're watching Blade Trinity. Really fucked up on his birthday. But, i'm still waiting for his call.. and will still wait until his anger gone out. Hopefully.. the sooner.. the better..

My shining stars

Just did a crash course with Raiders, Buccaneers, Titans, Texans and Bears. It was a very tiring day. Discussed QA presentation. I'm telling yah, I already memorized each and every bullet of that power point. Our center isn't getting any calls since saturday. Mainbank Boise said it has something to do with the ivr coz it's updating. Oh well, now i know how it feels to be a Trainer. Though, it was fun... i'm telling yah.. i didn't seem to like it. =p

even if the day is so exhausted...

it's nice to know that i have my team that makes my day light...

"The Lady with passion for sarcasm.."

"The Moment stealer"

The Terrorist & The Queen Mom

The Ambassadress & The Bibba Hotbabe

Closure

I wasn't able to go to work last night. Bo, Maya and Kwinny bought lunch for us. They slept early than usual. I'm having a hard time sleeping because of the long hours of sleep last night.

I contemplated and then, I found myself incomplete. I miss BOSS. So, i grabbed my cellphone and sent a message to Eden and Scott saying how i wanted to end the gap between us. Afterall, it's been 3 months. I never expected a response from them. There were many occasions that I missed out. Maybe, i was really hurt.But, this message really paid it all. It touched my heart completely. "From the very start you've been special to our whole family... Nothing has changed. We still feel the same way for you. Let's not talk about the past. We have the rest of our lifes to enjoy our friendship." 

So, maybe i overeacted before.. I should've consulted either one of them if it was true. Yet, i didn't.. I detached myself and tried to hard to stay away from them... It was never an easy decision. They were my closest friends. I should've not judged them. Me and my prejudices. At least now, it's over...

Confessions

Things happen when you least expect it... I 'm shocked when i opened my friendster. 1 Friend Request! A request from "bruce wayne." (It's not his real name though.) But, i know who he is. How could i ever forget that guy? It's almost a year now when i met him. He's one of my mentees in my previous company. The friendship started when i broke up with ex on October of 2003. He'd always go to my post and asked for some tips for effective upselling. And the rest is history.

Though, there are questions that are uncertain:

Did it become "us?"

I've never conclude. Yet, he'd always say: "That's not the kindest way to treat your boyfriend!" But, it was never what it seemed.

Will we ever be friends? Only time will heal the wounds of betrayal. I found it easy to forgive. But, memories of past would always remain. Time will tell if i can forget.

Did i love him? Oh well, I thought so. Loving him used to be my greatest fear. And I was right, that hurts. I learned how to let go... he thought me what love really is. Perhaps, now i know... it was never him.

We went to Landmark to buy toiletries. I'm with Magne, Maya, Kwinny, Bo and Sarah. We had our lunch over KFC. Magne and I met Aian in Starbucks. We spent so much time together discussing our plans for QA department. At around 3pm, Aian left to meet up with Jonex. They were with Jen (she looks like laraFabrigas). We watched Ocean's 12. I love Brad Pitt.

unfinished business

I'm sick and tired finding the codes so i can add my playlist here in my blog. Finally, i gave up. I'll just let it go. I don't care anymore if i can't attach the codes in my blog. Nothing to lose! The hell i care! This is just a blog! Does it matter? My productivity suffered. (as if) I still have the most number of scans. The truth of the matter is i'm exceeding the goal. hehehehe. I'm having difficulties pulling out the agents for coaching. Resource center won't allow me to pull out anybody because of the call volume. So, i stayed in the office, waited for the agents to finish their calls and gave the feedback after their shift.

Requiem

I just watched Double Jeopardy by Ashley Judd. It made me cry how she longed for her son while she was in prison for 6 years. It made me even feel ill how the movie ended.

I couldn't help but to cry my heart out. I miss my baby Wacks. If only he's still here... i will never let him go. Fate brought me lots of pains for 3 years. Loneliness binds the soul... Deterioration of undying laughters... Maybe, i'm nothing compared to what i was then. Maybe, i'm useless compared to what i have dreamed before... Sometimes, you just don't know if luck is playing on you.

Almost fours years ago when she gave up her career, her family, her life. That P-test almost lost her sanity. She didn't know where to go, where should she run to, or where should she start? Some friends told her to carry on, some said she should get rid of "it". 

She made a not-so-easy-decision for a girl like her who had lots of dreams. Yes! She would keep him.. "There's already a life inside me that i should take care of!" Being pregnant was never easy. There were moments of instability, moments wherein you don't have the will to survive. Yet, she carried it on. He was always there for her. He never stopped caring, loving and understanding what she went thru.. Then, her "serenity" was born on the 19th of February of 2002. She cried when she saw him. Tears of joy that she could never explain. It's worth fighting for all this time. She felt certain happiness staring over his pretty face and could still remember his tiny hands touching hers. The scent of a baby that always made her day. He's her life... her dream... her all! 

But then, he's gone! After 9 days of being with him, God had took him from her. She wanted to die... yet, she anguished everything and tried to fight back... She almost lost her sanity...

Few years passed... yet, the girl still feel the pain. She still feels the same grief and mournful sorrows. She's still fighting. Though there are endless questions... Questions that were left unanswered...